Helen Zaltzman

And I'm saying England because I don't consider him the legal monarch of Scotland.

He said, please rest assured I'm not here as part of some cunning rearguard action, which is exactly what someone who is here as part of some cunning rearguard action would say.

Also, what is cunning rearguard action, please?

I didn't want to Google it.

It's the daintiest pornography you've ever heard.

He pulled out the word semi-quincentennial, which is quite the other niche, isn't it?

That's another niche, isn't it?

It's a good Scrabble score.

It's not nothing, is it?

Well, it is.

I mean, half an hour is an unreasonable demand, isn't it?

uh charles went with uh wherever i lay my hat that's one of my many many homes um uh trump went with fools rush in and then they did a duet which was we're reigning men um do you know what i would have really enjoyed if they'd have both if they'd have done a duet of don't let the sun go down on me because that's one of my favorite things at the karaoke because halfway through you have to say ladies and gentlemen mr elton john obviously it never is

Very funny.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John.

I can't lie.

Does that make Trump the George Michael in this equation?

I think so.

Already there, my friend.

Already there.

And I accidentally featured in an SNP campaign video last week.