Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hell, Bugler. Aye, aye, international. Forge the letter of word. But so I. Let's start again. Hello, Buglers. It is International Forget the Final Letter of Words Day today, but sod it. Let's start again. There are too many international days these days.
That reminded me of when I was in a Carol Churchill play, Andy, where all the words just got boiled down to the letters B and K. Very good for the Burger King franchise. Carol Churchill was a big Burger King fan.
Today is also International Makeup and International Day of Something Day, ironically. And that's what I'm happy to observe. I'm Andy Zaltzman, or so it seems, on this International Perception Meets Reality Day.
And I'm here in the historic Maracanã Stadium in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on this truly historically, uniquely, unfathomably, remorselessly, iconically, historic, multiple occasion, International Lie About Where You Are Day, International Overstate the Significance of What You're Doing Day, International Belated but Insincere Apology Day,
international stretch a joke too far and alienate your listeners before you've even properly started your show day and every day and the international ignore the rule of three day anyway uh joining me on this issue 4378 with bugle um and also an international appear on a podcast with one person you're blood related to and one person you're not blood related to dave
ah i've messed it up i'm so so so sorry for this uh in uh in dublin ireland en route from vancouver it's helen zaltzman hello hello andy um pleasure to meet again and uh from glasgow scotland josie long hello great to have you both uh both on the show um how are you helen
Pretty jet-lagged, Andy. Anything could happen, by which I mean absolute garbage could fall out my mouth any time. Just fade my mic down and then throw me into a bin.
That's all right. I mean, you know this show. Absolute garbage is more than fine.
Okay, well, get ready for perfection.
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Chapter 2: What are the highlights of King Charles' visit to the US?
It's a no. Every single question. And you'd be surprised at some of the questions on that survey. I'll tell you that.
Yeah.
Favourite apple? It's not even a yes, no question. I'll tell you something, actually. I did have an infestation of horses. All right. My flat is really infested in lots of different ways. And the problem with the infestation of the horses is you've got the sprays and the sprays do nothing. You spray the whole place, the horses. I don't know what they do, but they do nothing.
And the worst part is you're lying in bed at night and outside the door you can just hear... By the time you're up, you open the door, you turn on the light, you just hear, you know, listen. It's a very, I feel for the people of Canada because it's a difficult infestation to get in.
And obviously, Helen, you live in neighbouring British Columbia. I mean, you must be very concerned about, you know, just, you know, platoons of feral horses being turfed out of Alberta and rampaging into your neighbourhood in Vancouver.
yeah i mean we got all those rat exiles what next um the alberta government has issued a guide for what to do if you come face to snout with a feral horse they suggest that you don't say nice horsey which wild horses find condescending don't say wind it in you overgrown donkey that just riles them up don't say free range is always taster in my opinion
And certainly don't say you'd look much better with a jockey on you. But do say, would you like a job pulling a cart in my new costume drama set in the 1830s? Or I'm neither going to lead you to water nor suggest what you should do when we get there. You're a wild horse. It's entirely up to you.
And also one option to come that wild horse down is to say you do you, but might you consider doing it in Saskatchewan instead?
Yeah.
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