Henry

Don't even put a stick in there, man.

No.

I am not a smart woman.

She wrote this.

She wrote that.

The whole thing happened in slow motion.

I don't know how I wasn't fast enough to remove my arm in time, but I watched in detached wonder one of the spikes move closer and closer to my right arm until it started touching the skin.

Then it kept going and going.

I remember thinking, wow, that's going to be a huge bruise.

Only to suddenly realize that no, this wasn't a bruise.

The spike was legitimately impaling my arm.

The first thing I did was stop the machine.

Then I started screaming.

I honestly didn't feel any pain at the time.

I was so shocked by what was happening.

The problem with the mixer is that none of the parts except the bottom plate was detachable.

So it was completely welded unit.

I was essentially pinned in this machine and absolutely could not be freed without assistance.

Anyway, emergency services were called.

They wound up shutting down the whole block while the firefighters stood around looking at me with equal parts amazement and judgment.