Honestav

him dying for me was so traumatic and and so many things happened like i you know i was worried that it was gonna happen we had talked about it before i was hanging out with him the night before like he called me right before he did it and was like come home i want to talk to you like he probably expected me to come save his life you know but i was 15 and i couldn't help him out like when i seen him like choking i couldn't like

him dying for me was so traumatic and and so many things happened like i you know i was worried that it was gonna happen we had talked about it before i was hanging out with him the night before like he called me right before he did it and was like come home i want to talk to you like he probably expected me to come save his life you know but i was 15 and i couldn't help him out like when i seen him like choking i couldn't like

pick him up he was too heavy and shit so it affected me way different than everybody else um i wonder that to this day i asked my sister like like what is it like because i don't know their brother died and he killed himself but like they didn't have to they didn't like it was just different bro like they they weren't necessarily around and shit their brother just kind of you know you know killed himself so they just kind of got that like oh yeah like we got to be more aware of people's mental health like type situation it was never like but you you were in it

pick him up he was too heavy and shit so it affected me way different than everybody else um i wonder that to this day i asked my sister like like what is it like because i don't know their brother died and he killed himself but like they didn't have to they didn't like it was just different bro like they they weren't necessarily around and shit their brother just kind of you know you know killed himself so they just kind of got that like oh yeah like we got to be more aware of people's mental health like type situation it was never like but you you were in it

Yeah, and my dad was too. So like when I found my brother, I screamed for my dad and he was the second person to see and like he's the one that cut him down off the rope. So he was like, that affected him too. I got to see how that affected him and I see myself in that a lot. Like, you know, there's like...

Yeah, and my dad was too. So like when I found my brother, I screamed for my dad and he was the second person to see and like he's the one that cut him down off the rope. So he was like, that affected him too. I got to see how that affected him and I see myself in that a lot. Like, you know, there's like...

there's like some shit you can't escape when you see some shit like that like it fucks you up right like psychologically so like it's honestly kind of a thing that me and my siblings don't talk about that much you know I don't even know they might talk amongst themselves about it but they don't bring it up around me that much probably just because it's so it's just such a sore crazy subject but and then if they want to fucking hear about it they just turn on YouTube and look it up

there's like some shit you can't escape when you see some shit like that like it fucks you up right like psychologically so like it's honestly kind of a thing that me and my siblings don't talk about that much you know I don't even know they might talk amongst themselves about it but they don't bring it up around me that much probably just because it's so it's just such a sore crazy subject but and then if they want to fucking hear about it they just turn on YouTube and look it up

Yeah, not really.

Yeah, not really.

Well, I mean, I tried to talk about it with him, but he would, like, he was, if I'm emotional, man, he was times 10. Like, he would just tell me, like, he would start crying and be like, shut up, I can't, I can't. We never talked about it.

Well, I mean, I tried to talk about it with him, but he would, like, he was, if I'm emotional, man, he was times 10. Like, he would just tell me, like, he would start crying and be like, shut up, I can't, I can't. We never talked about it.

He would say, stop talking about this. I don't want to cry. You're going to make me cry. I'm crying. Stop. I get it. It was bad. He'd be like, yeah, it sucked. It sucked. And I'm like, let's not talk about it.

He would say, stop talking about this. I don't want to cry. You're going to make me cry. I'm crying. Stop. I get it. It was bad. He'd be like, yeah, it sucked. It sucked. And I'm like, let's not talk about it.

Yeah, I'll never forget this, bro. So I called my mom. So boom. Okay, so long story short. The night before, my brother, my mom is with her boyfriend, and they're in this big fight, and my brother, like, comes and gets me, and he's like, let's go beat Nick's ass. That's my mom's boyfriend's name. I'm like, all right, bet. We go out there.

Yeah, I'll never forget this, bro. So I called my mom. So boom. Okay, so long story short. The night before, my brother, my mom is with her boyfriend, and they're in this big fight, and my brother, like, comes and gets me, and he's like, let's go beat Nick's ass. That's my mom's boyfriend's name. I'm like, all right, bet. We go out there.

My brother beats the shit out of this guy, and then he, like, pees all over his, like, clothes. It was funny. It was all this shit. We go home, and I realize, I'm like, something's off. Like, they're high. Like, they're on something, like, something. So I could just tell. And so my mom was like...

My brother beats the shit out of this guy, and then he, like, pees all over his, like, clothes. It was funny. It was all this shit. We go home, and I realize, I'm like, something's off. Like, they're high. Like, they're on something, like, something. So I could just tell. And so my mom was like...

going through this relationship shit where she was like kind of um she felt like she was enabling my my brother to to be a hoodlum right at the time like now my mom's an amazing person now she's a great grandma she's like sober all that shit she's great so we talk about it now but back then you know she was just kind of in the in the middle of it i remember bro calling my mom

going through this relationship shit where she was like kind of um she felt like she was enabling my my brother to to be a hoodlum right at the time like now my mom's an amazing person now she's a great grandma she's like sober all that shit she's great so we talk about it now but back then you know she was just kind of in the in the middle of it i remember bro calling my mom