Jacob Towery

But the big goal is, as you guys know, a lot of people move through the world in kind of a cautious, wary, defensive manner where they see other people as judgmental, mean, aggressive, and they feel like they have to be very guarded. And it's a less pleasant, less fun way of being. And we want to help people who desire to learn how to see people as potential future friends or romantic partners and

But the big goal is, as you guys know, a lot of people move through the world in kind of a cautious, wary, defensive manner where they see other people as judgmental, mean, aggressive, and they feel like they have to be very guarded. And it's a less pleasant, less fun way of being. And we want to help people who desire to learn how to see people as potential future friends or romantic partners and

have more fun engaging interpersonally.

have more fun engaging interpersonally.

Thank you. I'm glad you said that. I've wondered, you know, did I spend too much time on that this past year? Because it's something I'm pretty passionate about, but it's nice to hear that it was well-received and I'll make sure to include it again this year.

Thank you. I'm glad you said that. I've wondered, you know, did I spend too much time on that this past year? Because it's something I'm pretty passionate about, but it's nice to hear that it was well-received and I'll make sure to include it again this year.

Exactly. Just strangers, just walk up to them and say, would you like a handshake or a hug? And then you'll get to practice rejection training with that when they say, who are you? Go away.

Exactly. Just strangers, just walk up to them and say, would you like a handshake or a hug? And then you'll get to practice rejection training with that when they say, who are you? Go away.

Yeah, so I'll take the consent part. So This is an area I'm really interested in and I think is tremendously important. And I think that a lot of times people assume that if they want to do something to someone, that then they should get to be able to do it. So if they want to hug someone, they ought to be able to hug anyone they want to hug.

Yeah, so I'll take the consent part. So This is an area I'm really interested in and I think is tremendously important. And I think that a lot of times people assume that if they want to do something to someone, that then they should get to be able to do it. So if they want to hug someone, they ought to be able to hug anyone they want to hug.

And I don't think that is an optimal way of moving through the world. And instead, I think it's better to touch people if they want to be touched in those ways. So even something that sounds kind of innocuous, like a hug, I think can feel very abrupt and off-putting to someone if they don't want that at that time.

And I don't think that is an optimal way of moving through the world. And instead, I think it's better to touch people if they want to be touched in those ways. So even something that sounds kind of innocuous, like a hug, I think can feel very abrupt and off-putting to someone if they don't want that at that time.

So we practice in the workshop getting in the habit of when you meet someone who you don't already have a very established relationship with, you say, like if I was meeting Rhonda and Rhonda was a new person to me, I might say, Rhonda, it's lovely to meet you. Would you enjoy a hug, a handshake, a wave, an elbow bump, none of the above? Something like that. And then she could pick.

So we practice in the workshop getting in the habit of when you meet someone who you don't already have a very established relationship with, you say, like if I was meeting Rhonda and Rhonda was a new person to me, I might say, Rhonda, it's lovely to meet you. Would you enjoy a hug, a handshake, a wave, an elbow bump, none of the above? Something like that. And then she could pick.

She could say, no, I don't want any of those. Or she could say, I'd love a hug. Or she could say, I don't really feel like a hug, but an elbow bump sounds nice. Great. Let's do an elbow bump. So it gives her options and gives her flexibility and she's not kind of forced into anything. And it takes away my entitlement. Like I'm not entitled to touch Rhonda. She doesn't want to be touched.

She could say, no, I don't want any of those. Or she could say, I'd love a hug. Or she could say, I don't really feel like a hug, but an elbow bump sounds nice. Great. Let's do an elbow bump. So it gives her options and gives her flexibility and she's not kind of forced into anything. And it takes away my entitlement. Like I'm not entitled to touch Rhonda. She doesn't want to be touched.

And I think it's good training. I'll pick on men, but I think it's particularly important for men to get in the habit of assuming I'm not entitled to be able to touch people just because I want to touch them. I ought to ask first and see if people enthusiastically want the touch I'm offering. So I think that's an important message of the workshop.

And I think it's good training. I'll pick on men, but I think it's particularly important for men to get in the habit of assuming I'm not entitled to be able to touch people just because I want to touch them. I ought to ask first and see if people enthusiastically want the touch I'm offering. So I think that's an important message of the workshop.

And then rejection training, I think, is really fun.

And then rejection training, I think, is really fun.