Jake Haendel

She wasn't happy when he got home. And I was, you know, weird voice, weird balance, falling apart kind of. She's like, you need to go to the hospital. Something's fucking wrong with you. I think deep down I knew probably a good idea but I didn't want to go.

She wasn't happy when he got home. And I was, you know, weird voice, weird balance, falling apart kind of. She's like, you need to go to the hospital. Something's fucking wrong with you. I think deep down I knew probably a good idea but I didn't want to go.

Just like junkies do, I'm thinking. Well, I'm going to be at the hospital. I better, like, get my fix in before I go. So I'm in the bathroom. And this was the moment I really knew I was fucked. I opened this, like, five gram baggie. All I would do is take the baggie and pour, like, pinch out a little of it. but I couldn't even untie the bag.

Just like junkies do, I'm thinking. Well, I'm going to be at the hospital. I better, like, get my fix in before I go. So I'm in the bathroom. And this was the moment I really knew I was fucked. I opened this, like, five gram baggie. All I would do is take the baggie and pour, like, pinch out a little of it. but I couldn't even untie the bag.

My fingers, my hands, like, they weren't working, so I couldn't even get the bag open, so I put on my teeth, and I just pulled it off, and I go to dump a little, and I dump the whole fucking thing all over the place.

My fingers, my hands, like, they weren't working, so I couldn't even get the bag open, so I put on my teeth, and I just pulled it off, and I go to dump a little, and I dump the whole fucking thing all over the place.

This is not my husband. She's like, listen to his voicemail. She takes out the phone and plays my voicemail. I really did have like a totally different voice.

This is not my husband. She's like, listen to his voicemail. She takes out the phone and plays my voicemail. I really did have like a totally different voice.

There's all these soldiers there, like probably like 400. Okay.

There's all these soldiers there, like probably like 400. Okay.

That was the last pack of cigarettes that was bought for me. Life was never the same.

That was the last pack of cigarettes that was bought for me. Life was never the same.

My routine turned into, like, I'd wake up in the morning, before I did anything, I'd smoke heroin for hours. five to eight minutes cigarette, brush my teeth, but I would have a very productive day. So another thing, a lot of people would like nod out and be incapable of doing much. It was like a cocaine for me. I was amped up. I was ready to conquer the world, like do everything.

My routine turned into, like, I'd wake up in the morning, before I did anything, I'd smoke heroin for hours. five to eight minutes cigarette, brush my teeth, but I would have a very productive day. So another thing, a lot of people would like nod out and be incapable of doing much. It was like a cocaine for me. I was amped up. I was ready to conquer the world, like do everything.

It was like my spinach. Like, if I was Papa, I just needed a little more, a little more, a little more. I could be high out of my mind and put out a 250-person wedding. Easy. No issues. And then walk out and, like, talk to, like, the bride's family after and, like, oh, yeah, but I would duck off to my produce cooler, take a hit.

It was like my spinach. Like, if I was Papa, I just needed a little more, a little more, a little more. I could be high out of my mind and put out a 250-person wedding. Easy. No issues. And then walk out and, like, talk to, like, the bride's family after and, like, oh, yeah, but I would duck off to my produce cooler, take a hit.

I'd duck off to the bathroom every time I'd be, take a hit, you know. That was just, like, you know, that's how it was for years.

I'd duck off to the bathroom every time I'd be, take a hit, you know. That was just, like, you know, that's how it was for years.

I'm so sorry to tell you you have this really rare brain disease. And thank you for being honest with us about your drug use because I'm not sure we'd realize otherwise. You have something called acute toxic progressive leukoencephalopathy disease. And this was caused by inhalation of a toxin. And, you know, it's pretty catastrophic in the white matter of your brain. And they laid it out for me.

I'm so sorry to tell you you have this really rare brain disease. And thank you for being honest with us about your drug use because I'm not sure we'd realize otherwise. You have something called acute toxic progressive leukoencephalopathy disease. And this was caused by inhalation of a toxin. And, you know, it's pretty catastrophic in the white matter of your brain. And they laid it out for me.