Jake Steinfeld

But let me tell you this one first.

And then he'll say, now, what was that story I was interrupting myself with so I can interrupt you?

And I said.

out at the Strauss Center.

I said, this is why I don't like the mixed wedding when they have the Jew and the Catholic getting married because the fucking Catholic shit, that stuff's over in four minutes and everyone's just at the buffet or at the bar.

The Jew, oh, the rabbi, 25 minutes.

And that's the under.

They're windy people that love telling stories.

And that's because they don't know the groom and bride.

Like, if they know them, oh, there she is.

First time I laid eyes on little Natalie when she came to the synagogue.

I said, oh, fuck that.

Yeah.

And by the way, if you are getting married, go ahead.

But you don't do both.

You pick one.

You do Christmas and Hanukkah on your own fucking time, but now you're wasting my valuable drinking time.

And it's hot.

I'm sitting on one of those white, weird folding chairs.

No, because there's always one leg that's sinking into the grass.