Jake Steinfeld

I just had this on Air Canada.

They're going after it.

Listen, I'm a paisan.

God damn it.

I rarely talk about my ethnicity, but now I'm going to take a stand.

I fucking, I should, I really, I should, I should go get like the Italian American, you know, Federation of whatever on these.

Sun Consulate or something.

Somebody, because when I flew Air Canada and I got the chicken Parmesan that had the white sauce and no red sauce on it, that was a fucking disaster.

That was three weeks ago.

And then this time I was going to get the pizza because I don't want cold beef salad.

Cold beef salad sounds like a fucking horrible thing that happens to you in prison.

Yes, it does.

He got the cold beef salad.

Now, are you going to get in line with the fucking Aryan Brotherhood or are we going to give you another fucking cold beef salad tossing?

No, goat cheese.

It's like I'm walking around and people are ten steps ahead of me going, how can we piss him off?

Are you guys trying to get me to kill myself?

There's such easier ways.

Just make a good pizza.

Nobody wants goat cheese on their fucking pizza, United Airlines, you fucking retards.