James Catledge

There is no lighting in the backyard. And I've got to get 100 yards at age eight with two garbage cans. And I'm certain that the woods in the forest is filled with people trying to kill me. I'm sure of it.

And so I remember taking the garbages down one specific time thinking, you know what? I don't like how this feels. I don't like the fear. The raw fear was overwhelming to me. When I got back in the house, I thought, you know what? No one else can take these garbages down. My mother won't do it. My five-year-old brother can't do it. He's physically not able to take them down. This is on me to do.

And so I remember taking the garbages down one specific time thinking, you know what? I don't like how this feels. I don't like the fear. The raw fear was overwhelming to me. When I got back in the house, I thought, you know what? No one else can take these garbages down. My mother won't do it. My five-year-old brother can't do it. He's physically not able to take them down. This is on me to do.

And so I remember taking the garbages down one specific time thinking, you know what? I don't like how this feels. I don't like the fear. The raw fear was overwhelming to me. When I got back in the house, I thought, you know what? No one else can take these garbages down. My mother won't do it. My five-year-old brother can't do it. He's physically not able to take them down. This is on me to do.

And I remember having this thought, how do I personally... not be so afraid, physically trembling afraid, like talking to myself loudly the whole way, trying to make sure that if there is anybody out here, they don't think I'm afraid because I'm having conversations out loud with myself. But I remember actually grabbing two knives out of the knife drawer, sharp steak knives,

And I remember having this thought, how do I personally... not be so afraid, physically trembling afraid, like talking to myself loudly the whole way, trying to make sure that if there is anybody out here, they don't think I'm afraid because I'm having conversations out loud with myself. But I remember actually grabbing two knives out of the knife drawer, sharp steak knives,

And I remember having this thought, how do I personally... not be so afraid, physically trembling afraid, like talking to myself loudly the whole way, trying to make sure that if there is anybody out here, they don't think I'm afraid because I'm having conversations out loud with myself. But I remember actually grabbing two knives out of the knife drawer, sharp steak knives,

And literally, you know how the garbage cans are. You got the handle there. I remember having a knife in each hand as I grabbed the handles of the garbages and took them down. And I literally had the thoughts what I would do if someone came for me with those knives. Literally had the visceral plan in action. And I don't think I was ever afraid again to take the garbages down.

And literally, you know how the garbage cans are. You got the handle there. I remember having a knife in each hand as I grabbed the handles of the garbages and took them down. And I literally had the thoughts what I would do if someone came for me with those knives. Literally had the visceral plan in action. And I don't think I was ever afraid again to take the garbages down.

And literally, you know how the garbage cans are. You got the handle there. I remember having a knife in each hand as I grabbed the handles of the garbages and took them down. And I literally had the thoughts what I would do if someone came for me with those knives. Literally had the visceral plan in action. And I don't think I was ever afraid again to take the garbages down.

And I took the knives a few more times. Yeah, just to make sure I was ready. But as a boy, I remember having to overcome, personally solve that problem. And it, for me, was a real problem. I was the type of kid that when we come home from being maybe at church or being out to eat with my mother, she would have me go in the house first.

And I took the knives a few more times. Yeah, just to make sure I was ready. But as a boy, I remember having to overcome, personally solve that problem. And it, for me, was a real problem. I was the type of kid that when we come home from being maybe at church or being out to eat with my mother, she would have me go in the house first.

And I took the knives a few more times. Yeah, just to make sure I was ready. But as a boy, I remember having to overcome, personally solve that problem. And it, for me, was a real problem. I was the type of kid that when we come home from being maybe at church or being out to eat with my mother, she would have me go in the house first.

I'm eight and identify if there's any intruders before she comes in or before my little brother. And no one's more scared than me at eight going in. Did you think mom liked the little brother more than you? Like, hey. Well, he's five.

I'm eight and identify if there's any intruders before she comes in or before my little brother. And no one's more scared than me at eight going in. Did you think mom liked the little brother more than you? Like, hey. Well, he's five.

I'm eight and identify if there's any intruders before she comes in or before my little brother. And no one's more scared than me at eight going in. Did you think mom liked the little brother more than you? Like, hey. Well, he's five.

So this is, there was none of us that were brave enough to do it without fear. But I remember having these really visceral reactions to fear and I didn't like it. I did not like how I felt. I felt weak. I felt consumed by it. And I didn't like myself for feeling that way. So I had to go through problem solving to not feel that way.

So this is, there was none of us that were brave enough to do it without fear. But I remember having these really visceral reactions to fear and I didn't like it. I did not like how I felt. I felt weak. I felt consumed by it. And I didn't like myself for feeling that way. So I had to go through problem solving to not feel that way.

So this is, there was none of us that were brave enough to do it without fear. But I remember having these really visceral reactions to fear and I didn't like it. I did not like how I felt. I felt weak. I felt consumed by it. And I didn't like myself for feeling that way. So I had to go through problem solving to not feel that way.

And I think my life's been full of that problem solving, presented with something that no one else can fix but me.