James Cordova

And then we can choose to move forward separately.

But sometimes we can't make that choice until we've stopped trying so hard to change.

Exactly.

I love this.

I love this example so much.

And what Richard's sort of pointing out is that he and his wife have solved the chef sous chef problem.

You can tell they must have moved through a moment.

when they were giving each other a lot of feedback, right?

When there were too many chefs in the kitchen, you know?

And I love this, that they have made their own way to this place where like, if I'm making a souffle, stay out of my kitchen, right?

Let me make it my way.

And when you're making the souffle, you can make it any way you want, right?

Like that too many chefs in the kitchen problem is real.

And, you know, especially I love that this emerged after retirement, right?

When, well, I wasn't in the kitchen before and now I am.

And we had to learn how to make room for each other.

And I think the challenge when couples are resolving that chef-sous-chef pattern is that you have to give the other person the space to

to burn an egg every once in a while until they develop their own, okay, this is how I do it.

And we're both capable of doing things.

And that's just a much more satisfying, and as it turns out, a much sexier way to be in relationship.