James Sexton

That's a very fair thing to be afraid of.

There's lots of examples of that you can point to.

So say it out loud.

Sometimes when you're afraid of something, you know, Scott knows this as a father, you know, my kids were little and they would say out loud, like, yeah, I'm afraid of this, or I think there might be something under the bed.

Like, that's the way you go, okay, let's look.

Let's look under there.

Let's put the light over here and let's see what that is.

You know, let's not, you don't do well by like pretending it's not something you're afraid of.

So I think sharing with each other, look, I'm afraid,

That you're going to weaponize against me someday and try to take everything I built, including the things I had before we got married, and that the threat of litigation is going to be so potentially expensive, and the valuation of my business interests is going to be—and the things I'm going to do for wealth preservation and tax avoidance that are legitimate, fair things are going to get weaponized and spun in the full-contact storytelling that is divorce law.

and the lawyers are gonna walk out with hundreds of thousands of dollars in fee, and we're gonna walk out with a lot less and a lot of pain, and I don't want that.

Okay, those are both really legitimate fears.

If we can give them voice, I think if you love someone,

You'll want to understand their fear and not go, oh, you don't trust me?

You'll look at it and say, okay, I know you trust me, but you're afraid.

It's okay to be afraid.

Let's figure out how we can make each other feel safe.

Obviously, everything in a relationship, like how much sex should people be having?

What should they do in terms of dinner rituals or date nights?

I think the particular chemistry of two people is important to look at.