Jamie Hess
speaker
130 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Apr 2025
Jamie Hess’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I grew up with a nice life and they weren't wrong. But let me tell you something, Mick. Guess how much that helped me, them telling me just knock it off and be grateful. Zero. That didn't help me. In fact, it made me feel more shame. I'm like, oh my God, they're right. I have a good and I'm privileged and here I am completely blowing everything. I really am a loser.
And then I went and used more because like, who wants to live in that? Easier to escape. Okay. So how do we actually sink into gratitude? Well, it's, It's actually simpler than you think, but it's actually a little more annoying than you think. You see, what I always say is the work doesn't really feel like the work when you're in it. It just feels like a series of minor inconveniences, right?
We all like to say, I'm doing the work. I'm doing the deep. I'm doing the work. Are you? Because the work doesn't feel like anything profound. It feels like in that moment when you walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror and you call yourself fat saying, ah, ah, ah. We don't talk to ourselves like that. That is a beautiful woman or a beautiful man I see in front of me. I am fabulous.
I'm in my power. I'm in my presence. I am a child of God. That's the work. That's literally the work. It is stopping yourself in those micro moments and saying, come on, get back grounded, pull that leash back. We're going to get back in gratitude.
Well, there's a reason they call it a practice, right? You have to practice. It's not intuitive. And in fact, I would challenge that it's the opposite. So our brains are actually wired the way that our neurochemistry is wired. We are wired to look for the bad, the problems, something that might attack us, the saber tooth tiger. It is what kept us alive as a species.
However, what happened or what didn't happen is our brain didn't evolve out of that. In other words, you're not looking to escape a saber-toothed tiger all day. It's not coming. You're good.
But what we do instead is we react that same way to, you know, the judgmental email from a client or the unhappy email from our boss or the side eye from a coworker or, you know, a weird, you know, kind of glance from our partner or loved one. And all of a sudden we feel attacked. we fall under siege and we get fight or flight. So it's really about having a practice.
So you have a little bit of armor so that intuitively, because here's the thing, I don't always do the gratitude or the positive self-talk or the taking a moment thing perfectly. But I do it a lot more intuitively now. I do it a lot better now than I used to. And that came from a practice. The practice is, for me, a couple of those simple things.
I really hate when people who talk about gratitude come on and just say, here's what you do. You do a gratitude list of three things in the morning. Like, we get it, Pam. We get it. You know? Like, okay. Okay. but gratitude list, great place to start. I will say this, my good friend, Chris Shembra, who's another gratitude expert.
He said, you know, everybody in marketing, like has to have something they're for or against, like in the marketing of their own brand, you know, like I'm for this and I'm against this. He goes, you want to know what I'm against? I said, what Chris? He goes, gratitude journals. I said, okay, Frank, give it to me. Tell me, why are you against gratitude journals?
He said, because I feel that everyone's been sold a lie that this cottage industry of gratitude journals is the thing, is the gratitude. And why he's saying that is that gratitude is also a pro-social exercise. So by sitting... in your head, in your bed, and writing down three things, it is a good start. It's not a bad place to start.
But by thinking that's the beginning and the end of a gratitude practice, I think is short-sighted. So gratitude is a pro-social approach. The more that we can profess it, the more that we can say that, you know, especially as leaders, we forget, it's very easy to tell people what they're doing wrong, right? But it's harder to remember to tell people, hey, you know, I had a boss.
My last time I was employed, by the way, I mean- I'm employed, but the last time I was employed by a company, and now I'm an entrepreneur. The last time I had a boss. Now I have clients. It's a whole different set of problems, but I had a boss, right? And two bosses, female-founded company. It was the best place I ever worked. I worked there for the last seven years of my corporate career.
I was an SVP of a big agency. They never failed to, you know, if you were doing a great job, I would just get an email saying, hey, Jamie, we just want to let you know you have really been crushing it lately, and it has not gone unnoticed. Here's a $250 gift card to go get a massage. Enjoy. And I was floored. And my mom used to say, they are so smart.
You know, the stupid $250, it costs them nothing. You're never going to leave that company. I said, you're right. because I feel appreciated. And that goes so far, but it also boomerangs back to the appreciator, right? Because this is like a goodwill boomerang that we're doing here. So there's a lot of different ways that we show and express and receive and profess gratitude throughout a day.
I do like a gratitude list. I think it's a good pen to paper exercise, but I'll tell you, Mick, sometimes when I'm just having a hard moment, I will go, this is, I call it either bathroom prayer. I'll go in the bathroom and say the serenity prayer, or I'll just like pop on YouTube on my phone and type in like Gratitude meditation, five minutes and do the first one that comes up.
It's just about getting in the habit of taking a contrary action.
Well, thank you. And I think it's a great point. It's a great point. And I think it's hard for people sometimes to stay in gratitude in general when they're going through a rough time. That's obviously when we need it most, but that's when most people start to slip and be like, you know what? Everything isn't great, you know? And you just want to lean into like, woe is me.
And that's honestly why I started my podcast, Mick, is because my podcast, so I had another podcast for four years prior to this one and it was great. It was a I co-hosted it with a couple other well-known women in wellness, and it was called Off the Gram, and it was everything at the intersection of wellness and social media.
It was a chat show, and it was fun, but I really wanted to do deep, immersive audio theater storytelling, audio narrative with sound design and narration and telling these great stories. And I love true crime, but I don't. Ever since I became a mom, I became a wimp.
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