Jan Böhmermann
speaker
2,587 appearances
16 recordings
1 series
first heard Aug 2024
last heard Mar 2025
Jan Böhmermann’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Now it's hanging on my belly. Where was it actually put on? And if the tattoos don't make any sense anymore, because the skin flaps fall into folds and you don't even know what motif it is anymore, then it's time to go into the CDU belt of Berlin. And I have in Zurich, I can tell such great stories about on the way,
In Zürich, a great money machine, a mini anecdote, there are money machines with opening times. And that was a normal money machine, I had to wash the laundry, half of the tour was in Zürich and I was like, dude, awesome, I'm in Zürich now, the most expensive city on the whole tour, and here I'm going to the laundry salon.
And then I first drove to the laundry salon, found out that the only laundry salon in the center of Zürich, which you could reach somewhat, was already in front of the main station. With an e-scooter, I had to drive there for 20 minutes. And then I went in there completely blue-eyed, because I thought, hey, Zurich is just a modern big city, an international big city.
Simone Biles, the Olympia artist, was with her boyfriend in Zurich. I thought, man, so cosmopolitan, you can definitely pay with a card in the washroom. Of course you can't. In the washroom in Zurich, as everywhere else, you only pay with coins. Then you have to organize fucking Swiss francs first. Then the cash machine had opening hours. That was a normal cash machine.
But it is closed at 22 o'clock. Can you do it after 22 o'clock? Yes, Swiss law. That's how it is. So that no one stands around in the evening.
And do you really want these weird, my underpants, dude, do I really want them folded for 15 euros per underpants, then somehow clipped on a bar or something? No, I've never taken that into account either. I've never done that before. No, I've never done that. Then you do that, then you fold it and you do it well, I think. You put a bag of laundry in front of the door.
Then you get it back much too finely washed. It smells great. Also several laundry long. It smells super good. But you don't want... My shiny underpants, man. I can show you in a moment. Do you really want them for 15... They cost 15 euros, man. Why do I want to wash them for 15 euros per piece? No. Nevertheless, two laundry costs 49 francs. That was really fucking expensive. And, um...
Then I had to buy myself a travel bag. It cost me another 30 euros or 30 francs. I went into a co-op and I still had a bag, a laundry bag. And I went up the mountain with the laundry bag between my legs on the e-scooter. And no one tells you that Zurich is such a hilly city, dude. How is it, right?
And if you're not driving next to a Range Rover that's driven by an Arabian diplomat, then there's a tram behind you and you have to be careful not to get into the tram tracks with an e-scooter or a bike. I'll put it this way, Zurich, infrastructure for bicycles and such, not perfect either.
But I'm happy for him. Funnily enough, a colleague of mine, a younger colleague from work, is just starting to read the old Stuttgart Barre books. She complained about it on Instagram, that it's three quarters through, it's always about taking drugs. I just wanted to know how it was behind the scenes with Harald Schmidt.
And then he just really had, it's true, when you get used to all these old Stucki things, that was already a lot, just drug stories, the whole time drug stories.
What is the current project of Benjamin Krug? from Stuttgart Bar. Is it still Martin Suter or what are you doing right now? Again with Döpfner, trying to make friends again. Ah, okay, because now that Matthias Döpfner has arrived in the center of power, maybe it's worth it. No, I don't think so. I think he's very consistent there. I can't imagine that he'll fall over again.
I always find him a bit...
Yes, especially because you always thought, oh well, when they're already writing diversity out there on the flags and it's all about more, this whole talk. And it took exactly 24 hours and it was completely the opposite. And in the end you just see what the scene is really about, about power and about money and about nothing else. And all this talk about new masculinity.
Dude, please look at Mark Zuckerberg. What does he want from me? What is this concept of masculinity? What is this idea of masculinity that is being propagated? What kind of shit is this? Has this ever worked in the long run? And I think, you know, if these people have been in power for long enough, the time is merciless.
You just have to look and wait and you can't adjust yourself for so long, your character so long behind the facade. I was still very surprised that he got in there so quickly, but probably you have to... The time, the time, the judgment of time is merciless and they will be viewed with distance as the losers in the story that they are now.
And of course, it may be temporary, that they are now just pressing the buttons, that they are now re-designing the world. The thing is, without taking people with you, it doesn't work. And I think it falls faster. when they think that it sucks that people don't want to follow them. Because what, to be honest, what is that? What kind of people are they?
What kind of incredibly reckless, fearless, now argued according to masculinity concepts, eggless guys? What kind of guys are they? You can't rely on them, that's zero.
I saw it, and who really keeps the flag high? It's a woman. In this whole men's world.
What can anyone do if someone can change the rules of this network, in which supposedly everyone can act with free expression, on the push of a button and no one does anything about it? The problem is also with Instagram. I posted this joke from the Titanic this week with Hitler making the mask greeting, story locked, story deleted. Really? Yes, a claim made, a claim rejected.
Showing 441–460 of 2,587 · page 23 of 130
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