Jane

And I'm pregnant.

And so it's like this whole shift.

And that's where that feeling of like guilt and shame come in because I'm like, well, I probably could be doing it X, Y, Z. And that would be better.

It's not normal.

I was going to say that's like exactly the thing that I come up against a lot that I, I know intellectually this isn't going to last forever, but when I'm in those big waves of emotion of sadness and frustration and shame and guilt and stuff, it just feels like, and this will never end.

And I really believe it.

Or it's like, it will always come back.

Right.

Like there's all, and there's a kind of this fear cycle of like,

Well, even if it gets good for a minute, it's going to get hard again.

And that really propels a lot of fear in me, too, about like, oh, my God, if it's been so hard until now, it's only going to continue to be hard or, you know, I'm going to continue to suffer in all these ways.

Okay.

100%.

Yeah.

And I feel like I've kind of had that experience and that, you know, it's like, oh, I told myself I was going to go for a walk today and then I didn't.

And then I have that moment of like,

Oh, shoot.

Shame spike.

But then it's more like carceral thinking behind it.

That's like, and you're terrible and you're not going to be healthy if you don't do this.