Jason Meno
speaker
219 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Oct 2024
last heard Oct 2024
Jason Meno’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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It reminds me of, what are they called? There's a word for it in Pali. It's like the three marks of existence, I think. It's like everything is impermanent. As long as you attach yourself to impermanent things, that you will be quite dissatisfied. If you try to place all of your happiness on your ability to succeed or not fail, then it's impossible not to fail.
That's a requirement of the world and life, that you will make mistakes. And so as long as you place your happiness happiness on things that are going to fall apart or won't meet your perfection standards of how things should be, that because of that, yeah, you're going to sign yourself up for a lot of pain.
But then there's another idea, too, which is anatta, which is a whole other thing of non-self. And that basically there's no thing that you can really point to and say this is a complete and utter failure. Because then you start getting into questions of what's called dependent origination and what makes up origination.
a person, what makes up a thing, what makes up your, uh, the meaning you make of, of how the world works around you. It's, it's, it's just made up of pieces and parts and there's no one thing you can point to and say, this is everything that makes up your happiness. This is everything that makes up your suffering.
So there's, there's all sorts of pieces that you could go with the three marks of existence in Buddhism to explain some of this stuff too.
No. That's my no practice for the day.
Well, I'm a little confused because the question in the email says cognitive techniques are not very helpful to me 30 minutes or five minutes before the presentation or match. I don't have time to sit down and write and challenge my thoughts and I can't focus at all on my thoughts. Are there any strategies to reduce this form of relapse or nerves? So I'm not sure if this approach.
I'm going to be a broken record a little bit and say I don't think we've answered this person's question. You know, they're they're talking about how 30 minutes before their presentation, they're about to enter a seminar room. They're the first speaker.
The first speaker is about to talk and they're next and they can feel their heart starting to pound and they're getting this sense of nerves and anxiety coming up again. So the question is, is how can they deal with that right in that moment?
I'll give my shot at it. Awesome. But, you know, because I face this a lot, like I faced it right before coming onto this podcast myself. Like there's always this anxiety that comes up and. I think one thing that needs to be said is that anxiety is normal. Like there's like healthy nerves that come up when you're about to do something that's exciting or interesting or difficult or challenging.
So I think it's important to like, OK, yeah, I feel my heart pounding. I feel my my palms start to sweat. I feel my thoughts start to race a little bit. And some of that for me personally is just leaning into it.
It's exposing myself to that and being willing to not fight against it or make the interpretation that like, oh, this means I'm going to blow it or this means something bad is going to happen. Instead, there's a lot of different things that I can do to deal with those nerves right then and there. One, my personal favorite technique is just cognitive flooding.
Like what's the worst thing that could happen? What's what's like I did. I've been doing it in this meeting, actually, like. I'm sitting here and I'm like imagining like, oh, the comments in the YouTube comments, someone's going to say like, oh, Jason, what a fool or like, oh, his his face is ugly or, you know, like I started imagining all these cruel comments.
And then the moment I really try to get my anxiety up, actually, in that moment, suddenly the anxiety disappears. And so those are kind of some of the tech. I mean, so these exposure cognitive flooding technique is one of my favorite ways to to work with these nerves. But a lot of it is also just like acceptance of like, oh, yeah, my heart's pounding. I'm really excited right now.
Like, oh, yeah, I'm feeling a bit anxious about this.
Yeah. Another kind of on the spot technique I use a lot when when my mind is racing and I'm feeling anxious about something is a lot of that anxiety for me. And in terms of performance anxiety, it comes from that perfectionism of like, oh, I need to give this speech perfectly or I need to say all the right things.
And one of my favorite techniques that I think from feeling good was average practice was just imagining, well, What would a very average talk feel like? What would an average presenter act like? Would an average person feel really anxious right now? Yes. Okay, I'm doing great. I'm just following along and trying to be as average as possible.
And that kind of lessens a lot of that perfectionistic demandingness that often makes the anxiety ten times worse. Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
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