Jason Van Ruler

Like, what changed?

Why are people having more trouble connecting than before?

We used to be able to do it better.

Do you think as people hear you describe the five communication types, they can identify themselves in there?

Oh, yeah, that one is me.

I want to ask you in just a moment here, which of these types do better or worse with which other types?

My guest is Jason Van Ruler.

He's a psychotherapist and author of the book, Discovering Your Communication Type.

So Jason, do some of these five communication types go better and communicate better with other of the five types, or it just depends?

All right, but given the status of what you just said, okay, you've got this type and this type, and they're not communicating, what's the goal then?

To change your style?

Because just being aware, I can be aware that this conversation is going nowhere, but that doesn't really help.

And does it help to admit which one you are in the conversation?

Say, I hear what you're saying, but I'm more of a thinker.

So here's what would help me.

Do you think that, well, you probably can because of the work you do, but that most of us in a conversation can fairly quickly identify if we try what the other communication style is of the other person?

What about in relationships, in couples, for example, do you find, is it fairly random or does it tend to be people were attracted to each other because they're the same style or they're completely different styles?

Like, what do you see?

So take me through this because what I really want to understand is this.

If you've identified your own style and you've identified the style and the potential problem of discussing something with this other person and their style, what do you do?