Jay Shetty

Bad communicators aim to be right.

Notice the difference.

Principle three, people don't argue with facts, they argue with threat.

Here's a powerful insight.

Most disagreements are not about facts.

They're about identity and safety.

When people feel embarrassed, judged or blamed, their brain stops listening.

Let me say that again.

When people feel embarrassed, judged or blamed, their brain stops listening.

How many times have you stopped listening when you felt that way?

Now think about all the times you spoke that way and thought it would affect someone.

I know I've made that mistake.

I constantly feel that if someone really understands what they got wrong or they were really made clear on the mistake they made, that that would make them listen more.

But actually, we're not listening to that because it's not factual.

It feels like opinion.

It feels personal.

It feels like an attack.

Research in conflict psychology shows that once someone feels threatened, they prioritize self-protection over understanding.

This is actually mind-blowing.

You think about all the interactions you have, home or work.