Jay Shetty

But all of the guys were like, no, she's the worst. Like, I would never date her. Like, don't go out with her. And he's now happily married to her. And they have a great relationship. Now, if he would have listened to them, because he thought, wait a minute, there's seven people here that I trust and respect telling me that this woman's wrong for me, he would have made the wrong decision.

But all of the guys were like, no, she's the worst. Like, I would never date her. Like, don't go out with her. And he's now happily married to her. And they have a great relationship. Now, if he would have listened to them, because he thought, wait a minute, there's seven people here that I trust and respect telling me that this woman's wrong for me, he would have made the wrong decision.

And so I think so many of us don't actually base our decisions on even our self-worth or our self-awareness or our self-knowledge. We base it on other people's insecurities. And if you're making big decisions based on other people's little insecurities, you're setting yourself up for a big failure because you may move away from someone who's so close to being the right person for you.

And so I think so many of us don't actually base our decisions on even our self-worth or our self-awareness or our self-knowledge. We base it on other people's insecurities. And if you're making big decisions based on other people's little insecurities, you're setting yourself up for a big failure because you may move away from someone who's so close to being the right person for you.

Absolutely, you're spot on. And the reason why you want to get to a point where you're only hearing your voice is one voice is easier to manage than 30 voices, right? Like, let's just be honest. Most of us are surrounded by 30, 40, 50 opinions. So yes, when you disappear, move away from all the opinions. The way I recommend you do that is doing a 30-day opinions fast.

Absolutely, you're spot on. And the reason why you want to get to a point where you're only hearing your voice is one voice is easier to manage than 30 voices, right? Like, let's just be honest. Most of us are surrounded by 30, 40, 50 opinions. So yes, when you disappear, move away from all the opinions. The way I recommend you do that is doing a 30-day opinions fast.

And if 30 days is too long, try a seven-day opinion fast. So for seven days, Anytime you think about asking someone for their opinion, whether it's what should I wear? What should I eat? What movie should I watch? What TV show should I watch? For the next seven days, you're not allowed to ask anyone. So every time you have that inkling of, oh, let me just ask Lisa, what should I do? No, no, no.

And if 30 days is too long, try a seven-day opinion fast. So for seven days, Anytime you think about asking someone for their opinion, whether it's what should I wear? What should I eat? What movie should I watch? What TV show should I watch? For the next seven days, you're not allowed to ask anyone. So every time you have that inkling of, oh, let me just ask Lisa, what should I do? No, no, no.

I'm going to ask myself first. I'm going to ask myself and I'm going to have the courage to make the decision and go out there anyway. So I'm going to resist that urge to try on the outfit, take a picture, send it to a group of friends, try on the other outfit. No, no, no. I'm just going to make a decision. And I'm going to see what it feels like. Let's start with really low hanging fruit.

I'm going to ask myself first. I'm going to ask myself and I'm going to have the courage to make the decision and go out there anyway. So I'm going to resist that urge to try on the outfit, take a picture, send it to a group of friends, try on the other outfit. No, no, no. I'm just going to make a decision. And I'm going to see what it feels like. Let's start with really low hanging fruit.

Let's not do it when we're going to like the biggest party of the year or whatever it is. Do it when you're going out for movie night, picking a dinner, picking a TV show to watch. Make it really simple. Do it for the simple things. When you start doing it for the simple things, what happens? You start realizing there was no right outfit. You start realizing there was no right pair of earrings.

Let's not do it when we're going to like the biggest party of the year or whatever it is. Do it when you're going out for movie night, picking a dinner, picking a TV show to watch. Make it really simple. Do it for the simple things. When you start doing it for the simple things, what happens? You start realizing there was no right outfit. You start realizing there was no right pair of earrings.

All you realize is that you start trusting your own voice inside. You start trusting your choice. Or you start realizing when you could have learned a little bit, when you could have got something better. There was something that was editable. And now you realize it's all doable. It's not life or death. So you've got to start with the small stuff.

All you realize is that you start trusting your own voice inside. You start trusting your choice. Or you start realizing when you could have learned a little bit, when you could have got something better. There was something that was editable. And now you realize it's all doable. It's not life or death. So you've got to start with the small stuff.

And the reason, Lisa, I say start with the small stuff is because that voice, that inner voice that you and me have has got so quiet. It's got so weak. That's what that inner child, that inner voice is like inside of us. You can barely hear it. So that's step one. Step two, like you said, now you realize it's actually your voice.

And the reason, Lisa, I say start with the small stuff is because that voice, that inner voice that you and me have has got so quiet. It's got so weak. That's what that inner child, that inner voice is like inside of us. You can barely hear it. So that's step one. Step two, like you said, now you realize it's actually your voice.

You're sitting there on your own and your voice says, I hate being alone. I hate being alone. I hate being alone. There's three things that are important when you hear the words, I hate being alone. The first is all the studies show that when we make a decision because we don't want to be alone, we pick the wrong person.

You're sitting there on your own and your voice says, I hate being alone. I hate being alone. I hate being alone. There's three things that are important when you hear the words, I hate being alone. The first is all the studies show that when we make a decision because we don't want to be alone, we pick the wrong person.

All the studies show we stay with the wrong person when we're scared of being alone. And thirdly, we settle for less than we deserve. We have to realize that the person you're going to pick when you're alone is almost guaranteed to be the wrong person. You're going to accept behavior you never would. You're going to settle for language you never would.

All the studies show we stay with the wrong person when we're scared of being alone. And thirdly, we settle for less than we deserve. We have to realize that the person you're going to pick when you're alone is almost guaranteed to be the wrong person. You're going to accept behavior you never would. You're going to settle for language you never would.