Jay Shetty

And the mirror compassionately holds up to you a reflection of yourself, shows you all your flaws, your weaknesses. And the problem is a lot of us can't handle that. We think the mirror is broken because we don't want to see that. And so we push that away. And that's usually the one. The one's usually the person who can hold up the mirror to you in a compassionate and non-judgmental way.

And the mirror compassionately holds up to you a reflection of yourself, shows you all your flaws, your weaknesses. And the problem is a lot of us can't handle that. We think the mirror is broken because we don't want to see that. And so we push that away. And that's usually the one. The one's usually the person who can hold up the mirror to you in a compassionate and non-judgmental way.

So you'll have people who hold up the mirror to you, but they'll do it by going, look at who you are, don't you see it? That's not the one. You'll have people who hold up the mirror to you, but it's a broken mirror because they're just projecting their brokenness onto you, and that's not the one.

So you'll have people who hold up the mirror to you, but they'll do it by going, look at who you are, don't you see it? That's not the one. You'll have people who hold up the mirror to you, but it's a broken mirror because they're just projecting their brokenness onto you, and that's not the one.

The one is the person who compassionately, non-judgmentally, with love and empathetically holds up a mirror to you and allows you to hold up a mirror to them. And I don't believe that's one person that's out there. It's the person that you both do it for. It has to be a mutual thing.

The one is the person who compassionately, non-judgmentally, with love and empathetically holds up a mirror to you and allows you to hold up a mirror to them. And I don't believe that's one person that's out there. It's the person that you both do it for. It has to be a mutual thing.

And so I think we need to lose this idea of this destined, fated, perfect person, fully formed, fully created that exists and go, who's willing to work for me and who am I willing to work for? Who's willing to learn with me and who am I willing to learn for? Who's willing to grow for me and who am I willing to grow for? And you won't know that in the first month.

And so I think we need to lose this idea of this destined, fated, perfect person, fully formed, fully created that exists and go, who's willing to work for me and who am I willing to work for? Who's willing to learn with me and who am I willing to learn for? Who's willing to grow for me and who am I willing to grow for? And you won't know that in the first month.

You have no idea in the first month whether someone's willing to grow for you, whether someone's willing to learn for you, whether someone's willing to change for you. Go through the challenges, grow through the challenges, make mistakes, see how you respond and live through that. And so you know someone loves you not when you have a great first date, but when you have a great first fight.

You have no idea in the first month whether someone's willing to grow for you, whether someone's willing to learn for you, whether someone's willing to change for you. Go through the challenges, grow through the challenges, make mistakes, see how you respond and live through that. And so you know someone loves you not when you have a great first date, but when you have a great first fight.

You know someone loves you not when they surprise you on your birthday, but when they can deal with you having a surprising or challenging emotion. You know someone loves you not when you have an amazing vacation together, but when you figured out how to be okay when you didn't have one. That's how you learned that you loved each other.

You know someone loves you not when they surprise you on your birthday, but when they can deal with you having a surprising or challenging emotion. You know someone loves you not when you have an amazing vacation together, but when you figured out how to be okay when you didn't have one. That's how you learned that you loved each other.

When I look at me and Radhi, I look at the fact that when we moved country, when I lost my jobs, when I was transitioning, when we're figuring stuff out, that's what proves to me that she's the one. Not the amazing wedding we had and not the amazing early dates we had. They don't now prove to me that we love each other. So I don't think you get to see that for a long time.

When I look at me and Radhi, I look at the fact that when we moved country, when I lost my jobs, when I was transitioning, when we're figuring stuff out, that's what proves to me that she's the one. Not the amazing wedding we had and not the amazing early dates we had. They don't now prove to me that we love each other. So I don't think you get to see that for a long time.

And it is that investment. And there was a study that I read that showed that to make someone an acquaintance, a casual acquaintance in your life, takes 40 hours. To consider someone a friend in your life, you have to spend 100 hours. And to consider someone a good friend in your life, you have to spend 200 hours. If you haven't spent 200 hours together yet, you really don't know this person.

And it is that investment. And there was a study that I read that showed that to make someone an acquaintance, a casual acquaintance in your life, takes 40 hours. To consider someone a friend in your life, you have to spend 100 hours. And to consider someone a good friend in your life, you have to spend 200 hours. If you haven't spent 200 hours together yet, you really don't know this person.

And I think that's why as adults it's so hard to find adult friends and why it's so hard to date because it's very unlikely that as an adult you have 200 hours to get to know someone. But that's true and I feel that resonates. When I think about anyone I feel knows me deeply and that I know deeply, I've spent 200 hours with them. In your first month of dating, what do you know about this person?

And I think that's why as adults it's so hard to find adult friends and why it's so hard to date because it's very unlikely that as an adult you have 200 hours to get to know someone. But that's true and I feel that resonates. When I think about anyone I feel knows me deeply and that I know deeply, I've spent 200 hours with them. In your first month of dating, what do you know about this person?

You don't know about their relationship with their parents. You don't know about their relationship with their siblings. You don't know about their relationship with their boss. You don't know about their relationship with you in any other circumstance apart from on this interview-like date. You actually know very little about this person.

You don't know about their relationship with their parents. You don't know about their relationship with their siblings. You don't know about their relationship with their boss. You don't know about their relationship with you in any other circumstance apart from on this interview-like date. You actually know very little about this person.