Jeff (caller, vacationing in Greece)

And he's saying, don't come back.

There's nothing you can do.

He kind of had an inkling.

And it turned out he had an estranged ex-wife.

She had some mental issues and was not allowed to see her son.

And she had snuck in while I was sleeping on the couch and took the kid.

Up the squeaky stairs, grabbed the crying three-year-old, back down the squeaky stairs, passed the sleeping babysitter, and I just slept through the whole thing.

You're useless.

Exactly.

He sort of figures out that it was probably her.

And he has a sister who's also in London.

She doesn't even live in London, his ex-wife.

She's in some other city, probably in Windsor near the McDonald's.

I hear this in court.

I'll tell you the rest of that story.

But he heads over to the sister's house, hears his son crying inside, knocks on the door, and when they don't answer the door, he kicks down the door, apparently punches the sister's boyfriend in the face, grabs his son.

gets back in the car and drives home.

So he's got his kid back and you'd think everything's okay, but he gets charged with assault.

I end up being a witness in the case, a pretty useless witness.

I really don't know why I was there, but I had to go to court.