Jeff English

feeling stuffers, a lot of muscle memory and stuffing emotions, especially sadness. And so the very act of handing someone a Kleenex can cut off something that maybe had been 25 years in the making. And there's so much more that can come out of that because for the person who's having the emotion, I think about my healing journey that I'm still on.

feeling stuffers, a lot of muscle memory and stuffing emotions, especially sadness. And so the very act of handing someone a Kleenex can cut off something that maybe had been 25 years in the making. And there's so much more that can come out of that because for the person who's having the emotion, I think about my healing journey that I'm still on.

And like out of my codependence, like I expected a lot of people to read my mind. I don't ask for what I need, but maybe I'm sitting there thinking, why the hell isn't somebody giving me a Kleenex? Can't they see I'm crying? And the answer is because you're a grown man. You need to ask for them and go get them yourself, Jeff.

And like out of my codependence, like I expected a lot of people to read my mind. I don't ask for what I need, but maybe I'm sitting there thinking, why the hell isn't somebody giving me a Kleenex? Can't they see I'm crying? And the answer is because you're a grown man. You need to ask for them and go get them yourself, Jeff.

And it is the person rescuing me from my pain or are they rescuing themselves? Language that feels guilty, part of those rules back to the I statements and learning how to have, I'm not crazy about the word confrontation, but like it's group dynamics. So I need to let my outside match my inside. So how can I tell another human being that I've got issue with this thing that they're doing?

And it is the person rescuing me from my pain or are they rescuing themselves? Language that feels guilty, part of those rules back to the I statements and learning how to have, I'm not crazy about the word confrontation, but like it's group dynamics. So I need to let my outside match my inside. So how can I tell another human being that I've got issue with this thing that they're doing?

to learn how to say, I get angry when you check in every day as if you love this place. And then on our walks in the afternoon, you're making fun of the process and you're making fun of the therapist and you're talking about the sick behaviors you're going to do as soon as you get back home. I didn't grow up in a house where we talked like that, when you, I feel.

to learn how to say, I get angry when you check in every day as if you love this place. And then on our walks in the afternoon, you're making fun of the process and you're making fun of the therapist and you're talking about the sick behaviors you're going to do as soon as you get back home. I didn't grow up in a house where we talked like that, when you, I feel.

It just feels clumsy to, again, to create some new muscle memory and to listen, to be able to listen to somebody. We ask for folks to be present. That sounds like present and supportive sounds like the easiest rule. Why would you have to explain that? It's hard to be present when you're not in the room. That's why if you remember, we take breaks as a group.

It just feels clumsy to, again, to create some new muscle memory and to listen, to be able to listen to somebody. We ask for folks to be present. That sounds like present and supportive sounds like the easiest rule. Why would you have to explain that? It's hard to be present when you're not in the room. That's why if you remember, we take breaks as a group.

We try to take them every hour, every 50 minutes. But sometimes, you know, we always encourage the clients. If you need to answer the call of nature before then, just let us know and we'll take a break because it can be also really handy to go and use the restroom. When Jane checks in, because Jane gets underneath my skin every day and brings up something for me that I need to say out loud.

We try to take them every hour, every 50 minutes. But sometimes, you know, we always encourage the clients. If you need to answer the call of nature before then, just let us know and we'll take a break because it can be also really handy to go and use the restroom. When Jane checks in, because Jane gets underneath my skin every day and brings up something for me that I need to say out loud.

So the rules are there to create hopefully the safety so that the magic, if you will, can happen. And also to give folks a chance at some new muscle memory. And I encourage clients in these scenarios, start it off by acknowledging you're taking a risk. I'm getting ready to take a risk. Peter, I need to say something to you. And that's the spirit of the rules.

So the rules are there to create hopefully the safety so that the magic, if you will, can happen. And also to give folks a chance at some new muscle memory. And I encourage clients in these scenarios, start it off by acknowledging you're taking a risk. I'm getting ready to take a risk. Peter, I need to say something to you. And that's the spirit of the rules.

Yeah. It's an ingenious damage control strategy. Back to the utility of behaviors. If it wasn't that bad, then I don't need to address it. But my behaviors also affect other folks. So when I minimize, let's say, for example, a client, like, it doesn't matter. I got abused. So what? A lot of people get abused. You get over it. It didn't have any effect on me.

Yeah. It's an ingenious damage control strategy. Back to the utility of behaviors. If it wasn't that bad, then I don't need to address it. But my behaviors also affect other folks. So when I minimize, let's say, for example, a client, like, it doesn't matter. I got abused. So what? A lot of people get abused. You get over it. It didn't have any effect on me.

It doesn't have any effect on another client. hopefully using some healthy language, when you speak as if child abuse, especially physical child abuse, doesn't affect the child, I feel sad and I feel angry because you've got a right to your own truth. But I know how much that abuse affected me.

It doesn't have any effect on another client. hopefully using some healthy language, when you speak as if child abuse, especially physical child abuse, doesn't affect the child, I feel sad and I feel angry because you've got a right to your own truth. But I know how much that abuse affected me.

So that minimizing, again, it's very adaptive, but also if it didn't matter, if none of this stuff matters, I just am. And I think you've proven the theory, something's wrong with me or nothing's wrong with me, superiority or inferiority.

So that minimizing, again, it's very adaptive, but also if it didn't matter, if none of this stuff matters, I just am. And I think you've proven the theory, something's wrong with me or nothing's wrong with me, superiority or inferiority.