Jeff English

And so when you can, in some way, try to help someone use a different lens, one would say, and I would say this, one might say that you're no less powerless to your image management than your wife is to alcohol because you can't get into couples therapy. You're not going to not go to church on Wednesday night and tell the people that you're married to an alcoholic.

And so when you can, in some way, try to help someone use a different lens, one would say, and I would say this, one might say that you're no less powerless to your image management than your wife is to alcohol because you can't get into couples therapy. You're not going to not go to church on Wednesday night and tell the people that you're married to an alcoholic.

So the area of powerlessness is image management. So back to that meeting, you're going to fill in image management in that blank where everybody else or some of those people have got alcohol and some of those people have got cocaine.

So the area of powerlessness is image management. So back to that meeting, you're going to fill in image management in that blank where everybody else or some of those people have got alcohol and some of those people have got cocaine.

Again, to tell someone that they've got an area of powerlessness or to suggest it, it's not always received well initially, but it can be an aha, eventually an aha moment.

Again, to tell someone that they've got an area of powerlessness or to suggest it, it's not always received well initially, but it can be an aha, eventually an aha moment.

Depending on where you were in the order, but yet tends to be the last few days of week one.

Depending on where you were in the order, but yet tends to be the last few days of week one.

The guidelines that we would typically give folks, we always suggest that the clients write something out, bullet point it. We'd ask that the story be told within the framework of the trauma tree. These stories don't need to be void of success and great moments. And if it wasn't for my grandfather and that stuff, there's a thing we're here to focus on as well.

The guidelines that we would typically give folks, we always suggest that the clients write something out, bullet point it. We'd ask that the story be told within the framework of the trauma tree. These stories don't need to be void of success and great moments. And if it wasn't for my grandfather and that stuff, there's a thing we're here to focus on as well.

So the what happened to me and that we'd be given 45 minutes to tell your story. And we try to stay out of the way as much as possible, unless it's therapeutically necessary. Some folks, rescue would be the wrong word, but some folks can get going down the rabbit hole of dysregulation with their emotions and going into detail. So that client may need a little help moving forward.

So the what happened to me and that we'd be given 45 minutes to tell your story. And we try to stay out of the way as much as possible, unless it's therapeutically necessary. Some folks, rescue would be the wrong word, but some folks can get going down the rabbit hole of dysregulation with their emotions and going into detail. So that client may need a little help moving forward.

Whereas another client may machine gun through a story. That's ingenious too. Don't have to feel it if I don't stop. And we might need to slow that client down. But the essence of the story, again, is just to tell what happened to me. And then I think where the real magic can happen is during the feedback. Because you get 45 minutes to use your mouth, and then we ask you to use your ears.

Whereas another client may machine gun through a story. That's ingenious too. Don't have to feel it if I don't stop. And we might need to slow that client down. But the essence of the story, again, is just to tell what happened to me. And then I think where the real magic can happen is during the feedback. Because you get 45 minutes to use your mouth, and then we ask you to use your ears.

And we ask folks to play by one more rule, and that is please do not give feedback to the feedback. And we're back to the control word because I've got this thing I'm ready to present. Perhaps I've presented it 10 times and I've got it written out or I've at least got bullet points. So I feel good about no problem.

And we ask folks to play by one more rule, and that is please do not give feedback to the feedback. And we're back to the control word because I've got this thing I'm ready to present. Perhaps I've presented it 10 times and I've got it written out or I've at least got bullet points. So I feel good about no problem.

But you start telling me how you felt and what came up for you, Peter, when I was talking about my dad and what he did. I don't know how that's going to feel for me. And so many times, almost 100% of the time, within the spirit of not giving feedback to feedback is feedback equates to, I'm going to throw some love on you.

But you start telling me how you felt and what came up for you, Peter, when I was talking about my dad and what he did. I don't know how that's going to feel for me. And so many times, almost 100% of the time, within the spirit of not giving feedback to feedback is feedback equates to, I'm going to throw some love on you.

Maybe I didn't have anything in the world common with you, but when you talked about that thing at eight years old, I felt myself getting angry. And that's how somebody lets somebody know I was listening to you. I was there with you. 90% of the time, at least. And it's so hard for folks to not give, to just sit there and let somebody share from the heart and to not give feedback to that feedback.

Maybe I didn't have anything in the world common with you, but when you talked about that thing at eight years old, I felt myself getting angry. And that's how somebody lets somebody know I was listening to you. I was there with you. 90% of the time, at least. And it's so hard for folks to not give, to just sit there and let somebody share from the heart and to not give feedback to that feedback.