Jefferson Fisher

Yeah, I know.

There's some context that happens in this.

If I need to write an email,

Or a text where I'm trying to say something assertively, I'm going to try to apply that framework.

It does not apply to casual conversations with friends or to a podcast or to certain things that aren't going to require that level of professionalism or a little different threshold of a conversation that you need to have.

And again, it's just a guide that's going to keep you from over explaining because what happens...

The more words you use, the less people are going to likely do what you want them to do.

The more words you have to use to say no, the more it kind of sounds like you're wanting them to push you to a yes.

Especially with boundaries.

The more you try to explain your boundary, the other person starts to hear it not as a no, but as a negotiation.

For them to go, oh, well, if I took this off your plate and took this off your plate, would you be willing to do it then?

And see, it feels weird because now they've kind of changed the paradigm and now you feel like you got caught in some way.

You kind of have to acquiesce, right?

Because you took too long, used too many sentences, gave too much context to explain what you need to say.

What I tell every one of my clients when I prepare them for a deposition is that answer the question first.

Only.

And if they have more questions, it is on them to ask.

It's a muscle.

It's a learned skill.

So don't think that all of a sudden you have to be in deposition, cross-examination mode anytime anybody talks to you.