Jefferson Fisher

There's a much deeper issue that's engaged in that than just gaslighting. But when you handle somebody who's gaslighting you, their whole thing is to kind of use a cat with a laser pointer. Like they just want to point you to different places in hopes that you don't address the real issue. So they want to continue to make you chase. It's kind of a, they'd like to dig a hole.

There's a much deeper issue that's engaged in that than just gaslighting. But when you handle somebody who's gaslighting you, their whole thing is to kind of use a cat with a laser pointer. Like they just want to point you to different places in hopes that you don't address the real issue. So they want to continue to make you chase. It's kind of a, they'd like to dig a hole.

There's a much deeper issue that's engaged in that than just gaslighting. But when you handle somebody who's gaslighting you, their whole thing is to kind of use a cat with a laser pointer. Like they just want to point you to different places in hopes that you don't address the real issue. So they want to continue to make you chase. It's kind of a, they'd like to dig a hole.

And you have to go, that's not what happened. And you start filling it back up. No, that's not what happened. And they go, oh yeah, you did. You don't remember this? And then you go, no, no, no, no, don't you remember? And that's the game as they continue to use it. If you've ever had somebody that you know the truth went a certain way, you knew the past events went a certain way, and instead...

And you have to go, that's not what happened. And you start filling it back up. No, that's not what happened. And they go, oh yeah, you did. You don't remember this? And then you go, no, no, no, no, don't you remember? And that's the game as they continue to use it. If you've ever had somebody that you know the truth went a certain way, you knew the past events went a certain way, and instead...

And you have to go, that's not what happened. And you start filling it back up. No, that's not what happened. And they go, oh yeah, you did. You don't remember this? And then you go, no, no, no, no, don't you remember? And that's the game as they continue to use it. If you've ever had somebody that you know the truth went a certain way, you knew the past events went a certain way, and instead...

what they're doing is trying to go back in time and go, oh, no, don't you remember? You said this, and then I said that, and that's when, you know, that's not what happened. They're controlling the narrative to try and play to their best favor. So often the biggest move you can make is no move at all, and that is just to be still and say, well, I see things differently.

what they're doing is trying to go back in time and go, oh, no, don't you remember? You said this, and then I said that, and that's when, you know, that's not what happened. They're controlling the narrative to try and play to their best favor. So often the biggest move you can make is no move at all, and that is just to be still and say, well, I see things differently.

what they're doing is trying to go back in time and go, oh, no, don't you remember? You said this, and then I said that, and that's when, you know, that's not what happened. They're controlling the narrative to try and play to their best favor. So often the biggest move you can make is no move at all, and that is just to be still and say, well, I see things differently.

I understand you disagree with me.

I understand you disagree with me.

I understand you disagree with me.

That's all it is. So it just needs to be, I see things differently. Or you can disagree with me. I mean, that right there... And then just let it hang. Just let it hang. You just stop... Because that's much more powerful than, that's not what happened. Don't you remember? And you're trying to prove it. All you're doing is just giving them more strength to make a knot with.

That's all it is. So it just needs to be, I see things differently. Or you can disagree with me. I mean, that right there... And then just let it hang. Just let it hang. You just stop... Because that's much more powerful than, that's not what happened. Don't you remember? And you're trying to prove it. All you're doing is just giving them more strength to make a knot with.

That's all it is. So it just needs to be, I see things differently. Or you can disagree with me. I mean, that right there... And then just let it hang. Just let it hang. You just stop... Because that's much more powerful than, that's not what happened. Don't you remember? And you're trying to prove it. All you're doing is just giving them more strength to make a knot with.

Instead, if you just say, you're free to disagree with me. Period. Pause. Nothing. What are they going to do? They have to go find another hole to dig. And then they're just going to get tired.

Instead, if you just say, you're free to disagree with me. Period. Pause. Nothing. What are they going to do? They have to go find another hole to dig. And then they're just going to get tired.

Instead, if you just say, you're free to disagree with me. Period. Pause. Nothing. What are they going to do? They have to go find another hole to dig. And then they're just going to get tired.

So the answer really for both of those is almost the same. You set yourself up for failure when you try to begin with the pleasantry, the small talk, the soft stuff, the fluff, when you can come into the conversation. Let's put it in a scenario, maybe not in the bedroom context, but let's say you have something sensitive that you're going to say. And you begin with, so how was your day?

So the answer really for both of those is almost the same. You set yourself up for failure when you try to begin with the pleasantry, the small talk, the soft stuff, the fluff, when you can come into the conversation. Let's put it in a scenario, maybe not in the bedroom context, but let's say you have something sensitive that you're going to say. And you begin with, so how was your day?