Jefferson Fisher

It's hard to teach. Often it is the idea that you have to leave enough room in that conversation for what they're not saying. But often you have people who will very much tell you the truth, but it's in the silence of their words that it's the real answer. They could say something. Yeah, like, are you cheating on me? Exactly.

It's hard to teach. Often it is the idea that you have to leave enough room in that conversation for what they're not saying. But often you have people who will very much tell you the truth, but it's in the silence of their words that it's the real answer. They could say something. Yeah, like, are you cheating on me? Exactly.

There's a difference in a pause versus of asking the question that comes after, you know, where were you last night? and there's a 10-second pause. They didn't say anything, but they said a lot. That silence there, it may be the absence of words, it's not the absence of communication. Anytime it is more of the question of what are they not saying.

There's a difference in a pause versus of asking the question that comes after, you know, where were you last night? and there's a 10-second pause. They didn't say anything, but they said a lot. That silence there, it may be the absence of words, it's not the absence of communication. Anytime it is more of the question of what are they not saying.

There's a difference in a pause versus of asking the question that comes after, you know, where were you last night? and there's a 10-second pause. They didn't say anything, but they said a lot. That silence there, it may be the absence of words, it's not the absence of communication. Anytime it is more of the question of what are they not saying.

If it's something very vulnerable, another technique is to really just prime the room, prime the conversation, saying this is going to be something that is sensitive for me. And they're going to either engage with you or not.

If it's something very vulnerable, another technique is to really just prime the room, prime the conversation, saying this is going to be something that is sensitive for me. And they're going to either engage with you or not.

If it's something very vulnerable, another technique is to really just prime the room, prime the conversation, saying this is going to be something that is sensitive for me. And they're going to either engage with you or not.

But if somebody feels like they're the odd person out and they're looking for the answer they're not getting, that's a much deeper relationship issue that communication is not going to solve.

But if somebody feels like they're the odd person out and they're looking for the answer they're not getting, that's a much deeper relationship issue that communication is not going to solve.

But if somebody feels like they're the odd person out and they're looking for the answer they're not getting, that's a much deeper relationship issue that communication is not going to solve.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Of course. And I also feel that there are people who are in this same type of position and they don't know what answer they're looking for. They don't know the ultimate question of what they want answered.

Of course. And I also feel that there are people who are in this same type of position and they don't know what answer they're looking for. They don't know the ultimate question of what they want answered.

Of course. And I also feel that there are people who are in this same type of position and they don't know what answer they're looking for. They don't know the ultimate question of what they want answered.

Both. I think some of it is they just know it's a feeling. They don't know for a fact. And so they actually don't know the final question of what's the answer that I'm looking for here. They just want to feel a certain way. So most of the time, whenever you find yourself in the same argument, if you haven't heard the end of it, you haven't heard the heart of it.

Both. I think some of it is they just know it's a feeling. They don't know for a fact. And so they actually don't know the final question of what's the answer that I'm looking for here. They just want to feel a certain way. So most of the time, whenever you find yourself in the same argument, if you haven't heard the end of it, you haven't heard the heart of it.

Both. I think some of it is they just know it's a feeling. They don't know for a fact. And so they actually don't know the final question of what's the answer that I'm looking for here. They just want to feel a certain way. So most of the time, whenever you find yourself in the same argument, if you haven't heard the end of it, you haven't heard the heart of it.