Jefferson Fisher

And if he's not able to name it, we try to go even deeper.

Maybe it's something that's written down.

Maybe it's something that it's the two of you are together with maybe a couples counselor.

And you're able to say, okay, these are some, this is a muscle that we're trying to work together.

There's not gonna be phrases I can give you that's automatically gonna make him show more emotion.

That's not gonna happen like that.

My phrases are something that I can give you hope in and knowing that it will happen.

It's something that has to have a lot of patience and a lot of, I just don't want you to lose hope.

That's the biggest thing is I don't want you to lose hope.

And so where you find that piece of how can I be a safe place for him?

Don't criticize it when you're not seeing it.

So I want to be very careful with that criticism element that you might be tempted to go into when you don't feel like he's meeting you in that emotion.

There's a difference between wanting to and being able to.

And so it might not be that he doesn't want to feel that way.

He doesn't want to feel like he can't show that kind of emotion.

He really wishes he could, but he's having trouble doing it.

That is usually a problem that happened long before he ever met you, all right?

And so we're all coming into the relationships at different levels.

And so this is where he's at.

So how do you be a safe space?