Jefferson Fisher

And so maybe they're not able to forgive you today.

Maybe they're not able to forgive you tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or even next year, or maybe for many years to come.

That is not yours to carry.

There is healthy regret, and there is toxic shame.

And what I am asking you to do is keep it in realizing, yes, I did things that I regret.

I've apologized for that.

I've tried to make amends for that.

And that is as far as you can go.

You cannot make somebody cross that line and say, I forgive you.

At the same time, their forgiveness

is not a requirement of you to also forgive yourself, okay?

Just because they withhold their forgiveness does not mean you are undeserving of your forgiveness to yourself for whatever it is that you've done.

So don't feel like that is something that you're never gonna have complete full circle on that you're not gonna feel whole about, all right?

So you've done what you need to do.

Two, you don't need their forgiveness for you to also forgive yourself.

And three, when it comes to people who say, well, let's just agree to disagree.

That to me is a little different than let's bygones be bygones.

So I'd see those things as two different, very two different issues.

My

encouragement that I want to give you, Catherine, is you saying this doesn't feel right to me.