Jefferson Fisher

You've changed the frame completely.

Absolutely.

Because the frame they wanted was aggression.

Maybe that's the language or the frame that they know as the way to solve problems.

But yours was like, in that scenario, changed to curiosity, which was like, how did that happen?

And we all have triggers.

And on that first point about how you engage with your partner during conflict, one of the most useful things I heard recently was a clip I actually saw of Brene Brown talking about when she comes home after like a long day.

Yeah.

She will tell her partner how much she has in the tank.

It's so good.

And so she'll turn to her partner and say, listen, I've got 10%.

I can't do this today.

Right.

And I remember getting the clip and sending it to my partner because it's... That's some of the vocabulary that probably would have really helped a lot of my relationships, which is just...

first expressing where I'm operating from.

So good.

And I don't think anybody is going to be on the receiving end of, honestly, I've got like 10% in the tank today and go, nope, I want to do this now.

I wish I did that more.

This is, I believe this is the clip I'm talking about.

It was Tim Ferriss.