Jefferson Fisher

And that means some things are gonna have to be

limited until that trust is formed again, because right now that trust is having a hard time.

Two, when you have these conversations with your daughter, and these are conversations you're going to need to have, I need you to approach these not in the aspect of

coming down on her, that she's done something wrong because it's not about the money, right?

It's not about their credit card.

It's that she did it knowing it would cause pain and it would inflict pain onto you.

And any loss, it's this thing I heard once.

You know, I sat beside my good friend Anger

and it turned to me and said my name's not anger it's grief what your daughter is feeling is the same thing you're feeling probably on a different scale because grief is not linear but she's feeling a lot of grief and what she's doing is using grief as a way to mask and blame and cause even more hurt because sometimes

causing others pain is at least somehow a little bit more of an outlet and escape from feeling your own pain.

And that's not fair and it's not right.

So how do we, how do we handle that?

I want you to approach a conversation.

So you need to have a conversation with her and I would open it up with this question or something like it, however fits with you.

And it would be this, are you aware

that you're not the only one hurting?

Or are you aware that what you're doing is hurting me?

Or it's okay to say, I miss him too.

without mentioning the cards at all.

The cards will be talked about, but that's not the issue.