Jefferson Fisher

Nobody can make you say anything

on their timeframe.

You're the one that controls when you speak.

You're the one who controls if you speak at all.

And you control what you speak.

And so when you realize that you're the one that has that power, you're the one that has that.

So I don't care what the other person says.

I get to choose if I respond at all and when I respond.

And so what I will teach and what I've seen work so beautifully

And heightened times of conflict is just a pause.

A five to second pause totally changes the game.

For example, let's say that somebody, we talk about this, you know, in the later chapters, we dig into this.

Somebody saying something that's mean to you.

I'm saying they say something that's rude or belittling.

And rather than firing back and throwing something right back, which does what, escalates it even more, you just imagine it drops.

Like you just see it on a piece of paper and then you drop the paper.

It just falls to the ground and you're looking at it.

Imagine looking at whatever they just said and looking at them as if like, are you sure?

Is that what you wanted to say?

You give that five to seven seconds of nothing.