Jefferson Fisher

That is you calling the shots.

That's you being captain of the ship, so to speak, to allow them to trust that you're also gonna take care of them and bring them on board with you.

You with me?

All right, number three, let's say,

You need to have a really hard conversation with this person and they're friends and you like them.

And there's this guy who's also another engineer and he's your boy, but this time he's causing you some problems, right?

You're not really sure how to handle it and you wanna sound more direct.

I'm going to encourage you

to use what I deep dive in the book as frames, conversational frames, meaning you are pinpointing exactly the issue that needs to be spoken of, and you are naming the goal of the conversation before you even begin.

because it's often that we get it backwards.

So this is what a frame could sound like for you with this person that might be giving you some issues.

So you're going to start with number one, telling them what you need to talk to them about.

Hey, I'd like to talk with you about some comments you made at last week's meeting.

Two, you tell them how you want to end the conversation.

I like to begin with, I want to walk away with.

That's a phrasing I like to use.

Hey, I'd like to walk away with X, Y, and Z. So it might be, one, I'd like to talk with you about some comments you made at last meeting.

week's meeting, and I want to walk away with the understanding that that's not going to happen again.

I want to walk away with trusting that you know that's not going to be putting us in a good position.

I want to walk away with X, Y, and Z. There needs to be something you are bringing away, taking away from that conversation.