Jefferson Fisher

I want you to approach a conversation.

So you need to have a conversation with her and I would open it up with this question or something like it, however fits with you.

And it would be this, are you aware

that you're not the only one hurting?

Or are you aware that what you're doing is hurting me?

Or it's okay to say, I miss him too.

without mentioning the cards at all.

The cards will be talked about, but that's not the issue.

It's like the issue is not the milk being spilt, right?

It's always something else, something deeper.

So at this point, I'm guessing, Joanna, it's not about the cards.

It's about something deeper.

And where I would want you to focus your mind

is I assume you're wanting to find ways to help her.

You're wanting to talk with her, wanting her to share her pain, to be able to empathize with that.

When I think of something that I can possibly offer to help what a hard and complex and deep conversation and issue that you're having, what comes to mind for me

is a place and a mindset for you where you can look at your daughter and say, my love for you is big enough.

My love is big enough to hold your pain.

Like, like my love for you is big enough to hold all of your pain.

to know that she can lash out and maybe even words and express and not know where to turn all this grief and this anger and all this emotion and that you can be that safe place without coming at her with condemnation or punishment or telling her how she should feel about certain things.