Jefferson Fisher

They say, you always, you never,

They're generally not positive statements, if I had to guess.

The only time you hear those is in some kind of negative conversation, meaning the other person's using these words with a downward, mad, angry, frustrated, disappointed expression on their face.

You never listen to me.

You always say this.

You never care.

And it should just send sirens off in your brain.

That is one of the number one mistakes that I see communicators make if they're trying to actually have productive, efficient, successful communication.

is they use the absolutes, the extremes, when in reality, we both know that's not true.

And really, the other person knows it's not true.

They know it too.

It just feels better to say it, right?

It feels better to use the absolutes.

Let's play it out for a second.

Let's say you and I are in a conversation and I'm in an argument with you and I say,

It is just like, you always say this.

Every time you come in, you always say, you never do anything that I ask.

You never pick up around here.

You never do this.

You never, you always want to be the first to do.