Jemma Spike

This will be one of the hardest things I think you do.

It will also probably save your life.

In a very obvious way for some things, in a very physical way, like with alcohol, like with tobacco, but also in a mental and emotional and psychological way as well.

Quitting something you're dependent on will prove to you

that you are capable of being in control of your own behavior.

Otherwise, you will always be limited by the thing that controls you.

When you decide, when you make a conscious decision of like, actually, I don't have any control over this and I want to take back my control, you rebuild your ability to internally regulate without being externally reliant on something.

You rebuild your sense of agency.

You rebuild your ability to be in control.

Essentially, in psychology, we call it self-efficacy, the ability to master your reality and master your experiences and to essentially say, I'm going to put my mind to something and I'm going to do it and I can trust myself to do it.

You really kind of realize that when you quit something, whatever it is, this bad addictive thing, you are all you need.

Like you are truly all you need.

You actually don't need this thing to survive.

And from that, and having done that and conquered that, the confidence and self-assurance that you have in yourself, that you are mentally strong, that you are resilient, that you are capable of doing hard things is, and this is going to sound so cliche, like more powerful than

than any drug, more powerful than any substance.

That self-trust that you gain from being like, I am actually in control of my relationship with this thing.

And if it is not making me happy, we don't have to have a relationship anymore, is supremely powerful and such a big sign that you are maturing and you are growing up and you are taking yourself and your life seriously.

Number five.

Another cliche one, I'm sorry, but in your 20s, you need to fall in love with a hobby or a practice that you do just for yourself.

I'm going to hold your hand and ask you this very seriously right now.