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Jen

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
741 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

My husband and I are in there and I don't even know how it happened.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

I pick up a bowl that had corn in it to like move it to the other counter so I could do stuff.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

And in the blink of an eye, the bowl goes flying up in the air, comes down, smacks our counter, shatters.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

So there's glass everywhere.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

There's corn everywhere.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

Two seconds later, I look and there's blood everywhere.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

But I'm not registering that it's my blood.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

And I'm totally in shock.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

I look and in my wrist is a beer arrowhead shaped piece of the bowl sticking straight up.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

I'm in shock.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

My husband's like, oh fuck.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

And I don't even think, I just yank it out.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

Not good.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

You're not supposed to do that, I don't think.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

You're not.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

It was already bleeding and then it was like,

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

bleeding no would we use the verb spurting oh yeah she's doing a spurting move it was like down the counter on my clothes so i pull it out the pain starts to set in and my husband like grabs my arm puts it under the faucet and there's other like pieces of bowl in my wrist so we're like rinsing it out

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

I'm screaming at this point.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

I think I said every expletive there is.

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Cooking Disaster II

My almost six-year-old comes in.