Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Randall Padman.
Hello.
Today we have cooking disaster stories. What do we say? Warning alert?
Chapter 2: What cooking disaster stories are shared in this episode?
Trigger warning.
Oh, trigger?
If you hate burning, this is not the episode for you.
Don't listen to this one.
No, skip it. Please enjoy Cooking Disasters.
Hard times come and go. Take them slow. My life. I had them both. But one thing. You gotta know. I'ma keep on shining.
Hello.
Hi.
Where are you? I think you may know the town that I'm from, Brevard, North Carolina, west of Asheville.
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Chapter 3: What was the pancake brunch disaster about?
Probably two pounds, three pounds, maybe. Not a crazy amount, but enough to fill probably two sheet pans. We're almost to the point of everybody having their brunch, eating pancakes. The bacon is the last thing to kind of come out of the oven. And around that time, the family shows up, kids are playing. It's a little bit of a compact kitchen.
So, you know, my mother and mother-in-law are in the kitchen. Of course, they're like, what can we do to help? Where does this go? Where does that go? And it just gets a little chaotic around family as it tends to do. So I go to reach for the bacon, open the oven. And I guess I'm just so focused. I pull it out probably a little quicker than I should.
And just ever so slightly tilted it back towards me.
Oh!
entire pan of bacon grease spills down my forearm.
Oh, fuck. I can feel that.
Obviously there's the initial shock reaction, drop the pan immediately, kind of freak out a little bit. There actually wasn't a ton of pain, which is also maybe a little scarier than, you know, you don't really know what you've done in the moment. I rushed to the sink.
start to rinse my arm off and this is where my wife swoops in to save the day she's a nurse comes in handy on a lot of occasions and so yeah she helps me get this thing washed off and i think at the moment i'm trying to just keep as calm as possible you know there's kids around i don't want to freak my daughter out and it sort of becomes evident what i've done almost immediately my arm starts to like blister and bubble up oh
By this time, my daughter finds out. And of course, she like runs over. And I mean, she's going to have to be in health care like her mom because she's like immediately interested, not scared at all, not concerned, just like wants to know what's going on. And she also shifts into take care of dad mode.
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Chapter 4: How did the bacon cooking incident unfold?
Yeah, they're cute. The thing I live in the most fear of in these burn situations is when you hear people where the skin just rolls off.
Yeah, I was a little nervous. That was what I was in for. There's a few seconds that pass between when it happens and when you start to realize what you've actually done. I mean, it was rough, but it thankfully was not. That sort of situation.
This is a PSA because I would definitely try that. Like if I didn't hear the end of the story, I'd be like, oh, that's a hack. Cook the bacon in the oven.
Exactly. No.
Yeah. Don't do it. Get it all done. I was even thinking while you're telling us like, oh, I even had a grate. I would add a little grate between the cookie sheet and the bacon so that it wouldn't be sitting in the oil.
I think I did have a grate on the pan, which I thought that's a great idea. But obviously the grease is still in the pan. Yeah. It sure is. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Slowly and carefully remove and make sure it's level. So how old's baby now? She's almost six and baby number two, almost three. Oh, congratulations. Another girl? Two girls. Wouldn't have it any other way.
Now go get you a vasectomy because you don't want three.
Yeah, already taken care of.
Okay, good job. Just pour a little hot grease down there. That could also... Let's do a prompt.
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Chapter 5: What immediate actions were taken after the burn incident?
Casey, you know the old adage, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame. We're already at the shame on me part. The third would be like, shame, I'm a fucking dum-dum.
No, that's like, third would be shame on Casey.
That's why I asked.
Well, I mean, Dax has already had to operate once. He did.
Once or twice. Have I done two?
Well, finger in.
Always jewelry related.
Yeah.
How long have you been nursing?
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Chapter 6: What was the outcome of the hospital visit after the burn?
We like when people are left out. Something to work through.
Too dangerous. Sarah. mile a while for me sarah if you want to be free hi all you got to do is say so how annoyed are you or how much do you love sarah smile
Honestly, I've never heard that one before. Hall & Oates? I think you have. Probably. It's probably just not a good rendition that Dax is doing. That is definitely the case.
I didn't know what you were singing.
And I know Sarah Smile. Sarah Smile. Won't you smile a while for me, Sarah?
I think it's because there's so much other band stuff going on. The company man? I was in that movie, in that song. Acapella's tough.
Well, especially when you're not a good singer. Sarah, where are you?
I am in the McDonald's garbage can. I am in London, Ontario. Oh!
I literally was like, you're in a garbage can right now at McDonald's.
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Chapter 7: How did the kitchen accident affect family dynamics?
On your head?
That's so scary. It landed on the pie plate and just sort of like bounced off of it. How big is this ceiling fan? Just the light fixture in the center came down from the fan.
Okay. Not the fan blades.
No. So just the light fixture part came down and hit the pie plate vicinity. Nothing broke. We put the light fixture back up, carry on making the pie. And there's nothing else memorable that happened during that dinner until we served the pie.
Uh-oh. I have a terrible guess. Me too.
I have a bad idea.
Yes.
So I'm serving the pie. This is it. This is the first time I've made anything for this family to consume.
Quick question. How did it look visually? Did you guys feel like you nailed it?
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Chapter 8: What lessons were learned from the cooking disasters?
Ew, mosquitoes.
Don't listen, Monica. But the reason I knew it was bugs was because I saw a wing.
I hate this story.
It's so funny. I don't mind. I know.
I hate bugs and maggots. This is kind of like maggots everywhere.
But you got married and everything worked out.
We have two kids. No bugs are eaten in our household. Actually, that's not true. My oldest eats ants and there's nothing I can do about it.
No need to stop. Again, we're omnivores. We're totally fine and equipped to eat ants.
I don't want to eat them.
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