Jessi Draper

So I'm like, I don't want to go through that and put my family through it with the business and the prenup and all that.

There was just so much weighing on me with that.

So I was just scared.

I was really, really scared.

He had been well aware of how I felt about like the emotional abuse and all that, but he never acknowledged it until the affair came out and it was public and we started going to therapy during our separation.

And in therapy, he finally admitted like, I do know I got you to this place.

I am the instigator in this.

I started this cycle and it was emotional abuse.

He has said all of those words to me.

He may deny it now, but he has said all of that, but he had never said that before.

And I will say the last year Jordan has made some changes.

Like

He's really tried in a lot of areas, but I think for me it was like you're trying and you are making changes But it's i'm still not in love with you And at the end of the day like you do deserve to be loved the way that works for you and same with me And if you're going to make these changes great for yourself, but it doesn't work for me But I gave it my all and I had that year to really try and I don't regret it now because I I did everything I could you can genuinely say and look at your kids and be like I tried.

Because I do get a lot of hate for what I get done.

And I didn't want everyone watching thinking that I just like wanted to look this way or I wanted this, like it didn't go the way I planned.

And so I wanted to talk about it, but it also has made me realize, like I got my surgeries after season four and I looked back and I was like, I looked so good in season four.

What was I thinking?

And I never would have been able to say that before, but it gave me like clearer perspective of like, I don't need to get all this work done.

But I think I was in two marriages where like,

I had two husbands who treated me so badly that I was like, that was the only thing I could control.