Jessi

When we'd have maturation, they would basically talk about sperm traveling to the egg, but they didn't tell you where that came from or how that happens or anything.

They'd say, oh, and if your parents want to tell you about what sexual intercourse is, they can.

And I remember thinking, what is this, an alien story?

What did you guys just tell me?

So I essentially lost my virginity and had my daughter at 18 years old and basically had a shotgun wedding.

And very soon,

after we got married we realized like she wanted to do the whole mormon route and that was something that i tried to do and i just could not get myself to that place i just didn't believe in it like i never had that your first wife yes i never had that like um burning in my bosom you know like i never like believed in it i wanted to with like everything in me but

I just could never get to that place.

And because of that, we decided to not be together anymore.

And I remember feeling so upset that I let my daughter down because she would never have like a normal upbringing because her parents aren't together, right?

Even if I get remarried or her mom gets remarried, it's still like a split life.

Does that make sense?

And I think it created a little bit of a feminine wound, honestly.

What do you mean by that?

I think it created a wound in the place that was like, she wasn't okay with me not having the same religious beliefs as her, if that makes sense.

So she chose church over me, right?

And I think it created this wound.

As a matter of fact, I know it did because I've been doing a lot of therapy.

And I think since then, I've had a lot of trust issues with women.

And I think that's what made what happened with the affair so much worse is because of those