Jessica Lanyadoo

And a lot of this stuff, I will just tell you, after years of counseling people through this, you have a conversation with a man who you think is going to be totally down.

And it turns out he has weird assumptions and he's not totally down because he is a product of the world.

And so I think he's a reasonable guy.

I think he has good values.

And I think he's making some assumptions that you're just going to take care of certain things.

And so you need to talk about it in advance so you can disabuse him of certain notions.

And it's not because he's a bad guy.

Again, it's just...

expecting our partners to know what we want and what we need without telling them is unrealistic and unhealthy right yeah just tell them what you need and the worst thing he could do is say no i'm not doing that sure then you can fight him do you guys ever fight

Not a lot, but we have.

Okay, good.

It's good to invite your partner when you think there's something to fight about because that way resentments don't build up and all that kind of stuff, right?

So if he says, no, I'm not going to do that, then you can start brainstorming as a team.

Okay, well then how are you going to get your needs met if it's not going to come from him?

How are the two of you going to to like bridge the gap if there are gaps?

And there will be gaps.

There will be gaps.

Right.

Of course.

Yeah.