Jessica Lanyadoo

Correct.

Yeah.

So that's good.

That's good.

That means that you're the warden to this self-imposed jail is you could have been him and you, but you didn't choose somebody who's got a warden's nature.

And also, yeah, he'll always say what he wants and what he needs.

If he doesn't want to eat that, he won't eat it.

If he's like, I can't, I can't help with the baby right now because I'm focused on work.

He'll just say it.

And if you don't figure out how to navigate that, then you're going to be the woman who doesn't speak her mind, which you will be miserable with.

don't be a self-cleaning oven this is this is this needs to end yes yes instead it's saying to him this is the stove uh this is the oven these are the cleaning things i need to not ask you just because i've always taken care of it i need you to recognize that this needs to be done and i've been doing this and i need i don't need your help i need you to make it your job

So translation with co-parenting is you don't need help with the baby.

You need him to be maybe you decide 50 percent, maybe you decide 30 percent.

But the two of you need to decide what percentage and level of hands on parenting he is going to be doing in the first three months.

And then you renegotiate at three months.

OK, OK, because you can't know what it's going to be like at six months.

But for the first three months, you can know that you are going to need more support than less.

Right.

Even the idea of calling it support like makes me angry because he's not supporting you.

He is showing up to parenting.