Jessica Williams

People fought their neighbors tooth and nail to pay for some lettuce-shaped plastic. But all the violence was worth it for that precious Christmas morning when their kids would open the box, see the Cabbage Patch Kid, and then play with the box. The Cabbage Patch Kid set the standard for all sorts of Black Friday crazes throughout the 90s.

People fought their neighbors tooth and nail to pay for some lettuce-shaped plastic. But all the violence was worth it for that precious Christmas morning when their kids would open the box, see the Cabbage Patch Kid, and then play with the box. The Cabbage Patch Kid set the standard for all sorts of Black Friday crazes throughout the 90s.

From Furbies to Beanie Babies to Tickle Me Elmos to countless other toys bought by newly divorced dads trying to buy their way into their kids' hearts. By 2002, nearly three quarters of all shoppers were in stores over Black Friday weekend. It was paradise for people looking for deals and robbers looking for unguarded homes.

From Furbies to Beanie Babies to Tickle Me Elmos to countless other toys bought by newly divorced dads trying to buy their way into their kids' hearts. By 2002, nearly three quarters of all shoppers were in stores over Black Friday weekend. It was paradise for people looking for deals and robbers looking for unguarded homes.

Black Friday was so successful that stores started pushing the start time back from Friday morning to Friday at midnight and then all the way back to Thanksgiving night itself. They called the new holiday Gray Thursday as a tribute to the moral gray area of abandoning your family on Thanksgiving to choke out a stranger for an Instapot. Oh, it's ready.

Black Friday was so successful that stores started pushing the start time back from Friday morning to Friday at midnight and then all the way back to Thanksgiving night itself. They called the new holiday Gray Thursday as a tribute to the moral gray area of abandoning your family on Thanksgiving to choke out a stranger for an Instapot. Oh, it's ready.

And throughout this time, Black Friday doorbuster sales became more dangerous as consumers turned every big box store into a big octagon arena. It got so bad that in 2011, you were statistically more likely to be injured in a Black Friday sale than from a shark attack. Unless that shark is also at the Black Friday sale, and then it depends on whoever wants that blender more. Got it!

And throughout this time, Black Friday doorbuster sales became more dangerous as consumers turned every big box store into a big octagon arena. It got so bad that in 2011, you were statistically more likely to be injured in a Black Friday sale than from a shark attack. Unless that shark is also at the Black Friday sale, and then it depends on whoever wants that blender more. Got it!

But sadly, the good times and horrific injuries couldn't last forever. With the dawn of online shopping, Black Friday became less relevant than the newer, shinier, two-day premiere holiday that took its place. Along came Cyber Monday, an easier way to score deals while avoiding the mobs at in-person stores. It's just another way technology has pulled us further apart.

But sadly, the good times and horrific injuries couldn't last forever. With the dawn of online shopping, Black Friday became less relevant than the newer, shinier, two-day premiere holiday that took its place. Along came Cyber Monday, an easier way to score deals while avoiding the mobs at in-person stores. It's just another way technology has pulled us further apart.

Sure, it's more convenient, but think of what we lose when we no longer have that one-on-one air fryer to skull contact. It's sad. Also in recent years, retail employees have begun pushing back on so-called holiday creep, which is a term for stores expanding their holiday shopping periods into Thanksgiving.

Sure, it's more convenient, but think of what we lose when we no longer have that one-on-one air fryer to skull contact. It's sad. Also in recent years, retail employees have begun pushing back on so-called holiday creep, which is a term for stores expanding their holiday shopping periods into Thanksgiving.

Not what happens when your weird cousin hits the eggnog too hard and tries to go FDR on your underparts. But even as its golden days are behind it, Black Friday is still an American institution, standing tall beside Thanksgiving and the Super Bowl and the Purge. And now that you know its history, don't forget to keep it in perspective.

Not what happens when your weird cousin hits the eggnog too hard and tries to go FDR on your underparts. But even as its golden days are behind it, Black Friday is still an American institution, standing tall beside Thanksgiving and the Super Bowl and the Purge. And now that you know its history, don't forget to keep it in perspective.

Sure, saving money is great, but this season isn't about fighting some stranger at a store. It's about gathering your family and fighting with them. So happy shopping season. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to start practicing for the big day.

Sure, saving money is great, but this season isn't about fighting some stranger at a store. It's about gathering your family and fighting with them. So happy shopping season. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to start practicing for the big day.

I've just been riding my bike. It's been pretty sweet. Riding my bike in New York is amazing, too, because you ride it on the west side bike path. I passed this guy, and all of a sudden he went, where'd it go, fat ass? He's like, yeah, I'm on drugs. It's for my prostate.

I've just been riding my bike. It's been pretty sweet. Riding my bike in New York is amazing, too, because you ride it on the west side bike path. I passed this guy, and all of a sudden he went, where'd it go, fat ass? He's like, yeah, I'm on drugs. It's for my prostate.

You're a madman. Oh, it's wonderful. It's the greatest way to get around. All of a sudden, people think, no, that couldn't be Mork. No.

You're a madman. Oh, it's wonderful. It's the greatest way to get around. All of a sudden, people think, no, that couldn't be Mork. No.