Jessica Williams

Workers are upset. Forced to work. They keep saying that they care about their associates. That's not the case.

Workers are upset. Forced to work. They keep saying that they care about their associates. That's not the case.

I think we should all have the ability to say, I don't want to work Thanksgiving.

I think we should all have the ability to say, I don't want to work Thanksgiving.

Stores at the Walden Galleria have a tough choice this year, open on Thanksgiving or possibly pay a lot of money in fines and penalties.

Stores at the Walden Galleria have a tough choice this year, open on Thanksgiving or possibly pay a lot of money in fines and penalties.

Hello, my shopaholics, maximistas, mall rats, coupon clippers, bargain bitches, capitalism warriors, and sales slugs. It's the holidays, and that means one thing. Family. No, I'm kidding. That means shopping. Family? What the f***? Like many of you, I too will be going out on Black Friday, one of America's most treasured excuses to buy shit.

Hello, my shopaholics, maximistas, mall rats, coupon clippers, bargain bitches, capitalism warriors, and sales slugs. It's the holidays, and that means one thing. Family. No, I'm kidding. That means shopping. Family? What the f***? Like many of you, I too will be going out on Black Friday, one of America's most treasured excuses to buy shit.

And Black Friday seems like something that's been around forever. I mean, I can't remember a time when Black Friday didn't exist. Then again, my memory is a little fuzzy from all the head trauma from previous Black Fridays. The history of Black Friday is actually quite interesting. It started in the 1920s, when retail stores wanted to set a clear beginning to the Christmas shopping season.

And Black Friday seems like something that's been around forever. I mean, I can't remember a time when Black Friday didn't exist. Then again, my memory is a little fuzzy from all the head trauma from previous Black Fridays. The history of Black Friday is actually quite interesting. It started in the 1920s, when retail stores wanted to set a clear beginning to the Christmas shopping season.

So department stores like Macy's created grand parades to signal to Americans it's time to start spending cash. Although back then, parade balloons weren't as cute as the ones today. You know, classics like Puff the Meth Fuel Dragon, Whimsical Drifter Murderer, and Thick Daddy Superman. Maybe they were hoping to scare people to run inside the stores? I don't know.

So department stores like Macy's created grand parades to signal to Americans it's time to start spending cash. Although back then, parade balloons weren't as cute as the ones today. You know, classics like Puff the Meth Fuel Dragon, Whimsical Drifter Murderer, and Thick Daddy Superman. Maybe they were hoping to scare people to run inside the stores? I don't know.

The point is, retailers depended on a big Christmas shopping season and were willing to do whatever it took to make it as long as possible. In fact, during the Great Depression, they even lobbied President Franklin Roosevelt to move Thanksgiving a week earlier to allow for more Christmas shopping. And after his cousin finished giving him a handjob, FDR agreed.

The point is, retailers depended on a big Christmas shopping season and were willing to do whatever it took to make it as long as possible. In fact, during the Great Depression, they even lobbied President Franklin Roosevelt to move Thanksgiving a week earlier to allow for more Christmas shopping. And after his cousin finished giving him a handjob, FDR agreed.

Eventually, they moved Thanksgiving back, but the retailers got what they wanted because over the next few decades, more and more people began their Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. But the first time the day was called Black Friday was in the 1960s. It was actually coined by the Philadelphia Police Department because the day brought tons of traffic and chaos.

Eventually, they moved Thanksgiving back, but the retailers got what they wanted because over the next few decades, more and more people began their Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. But the first time the day was called Black Friday was in the 1960s. It was actually coined by the Philadelphia Police Department because the day brought tons of traffic and chaos.

And for shopping to cause chaos in Philadelphia, it has to really be chaos. I once set fire to a mannequin at a Zara in Philadelphia, and they didn't even kick me out of the store. They just threw it in the burnt mannequin pile. Sorry.

And for shopping to cause chaos in Philadelphia, it has to really be chaos. I once set fire to a mannequin at a Zara in Philadelphia, and they didn't even kick me out of the store. They just threw it in the burnt mannequin pile. Sorry.

It was in the 1980s that Black Friday finally went nationwide, and it was all thanks to America's obsession with the adorable little vegetable-human monster hybrids known as the Cabbage Patch Kids. I got this one for $3,000, and I had to get punched by a lot of grandmas to get it, but it was worth it. The toys were in such high demand that it caused literal riots across America.

It was in the 1980s that Black Friday finally went nationwide, and it was all thanks to America's obsession with the adorable little vegetable-human monster hybrids known as the Cabbage Patch Kids. I got this one for $3,000, and I had to get punched by a lot of grandmas to get it, but it was worth it. The toys were in such high demand that it caused literal riots across America.