Jessica

And I would like to fix this relationship.

I have no interest in fixing that relationship.

Yeah.

And Pam.

I told that to both of them.

I think because of the way that I feel like I've shown up for Pam in the past and the way that I felt kind of dismissed in all of this, you know, with Pam, it's literally been like, I can point to times where I've like been asked to go to one of her like shows and was like half falling asleep in the audience because I was working all day, had to be up at six o'clock in the morning for work again, like, and was like, let me show up for you, you know?

And so like,

after all of this I just felt like I put so much effort into a lot of my friendships therapy I didn't have a lot of friends growing up so like the friendships that I have now I really put value into you know um that with this and with this feeling like it it honestly at the end of it felt more like it was like about like Pam and Barbara being like as long as we're good it's good that I was like I don't feel like I need to like maintain a friendship where I already felt like I was like

putting more into it than I was getting out of it.

Whereas with Barbara, I felt like I was like, it was more of a fulfilling friendship.

Pam asked.

Pam told me that she feels like I don't reach out to her as often and basically wanted to know why.

And I was like, I feel like I don't want to.

Yeah.

I guess I understand how that it could be taken that way.

I would obviously never say that.

I think they're a great couple.

I think at the end of the day, I just looked around and I was like, I feel like I wish that, like I said, I met them the same day they met each other.

So I've known them both for an equal amount of time.

And I almost wish that