Jillian Turecki

It's like, okay, this stuff is coming up right now because you're still human and there's still things coming up and you're going to see it in them. The beauty is, can you talk about it? And the beauty is also how judgmental are you? Because there's people, there are some people who are just, their expectations are too high and they're too, they have no tolerance for imperfection.

It's like, okay, this stuff is coming up right now because you're still human and there's still things coming up and you're going to see it in them. The beauty is, can you talk about it? And the beauty is also how judgmental are you? Because there's people, there are some people who are just, their expectations are too high and they're too, they have no tolerance for imperfection.

No one is.

No one is.

Exactly. Because they have, again, this unconscious blueprint of someone is supposed to be perfect and bring and make up for the imperfection that lives inside of me.

Exactly. Because they have, again, this unconscious blueprint of someone is supposed to be perfect and bring and make up for the imperfection that lives inside of me.

And the thing is, you think, oh, that's a toxic person. No, this lives inside of us, all of us at some point in our lives. because we've been conditioned by this idea of romanticism and the perfect person, and I'm gonna meet this person who's going to make up for, you know, They're going to love me exactly for who I am. And they're going to come in and they're going to heal me.

And the thing is, you think, oh, that's a toxic person. No, this lives inside of us, all of us at some point in our lives. because we've been conditioned by this idea of romanticism and the perfect person, and I'm gonna meet this person who's going to make up for, you know, They're going to love me exactly for who I am. And they're going to come in and they're going to heal me.

Again, most people know intellectually that that's not how it goes. But we do. We think this. We romanticize as the one. We all long for someone who's going to love us almost in the way that a parent has loved us. And then our flaws are going to be irrelevant. And they're going to be flawless. So getting back to why do people stay in relationships where they're mistreated? Well, I mean, self-worth.

Again, most people know intellectually that that's not how it goes. But we do. We think this. We romanticize as the one. We all long for someone who's going to love us almost in the way that a parent has loved us. And then our flaws are going to be irrelevant. And they're going to be flawless. So getting back to why do people stay in relationships where they're mistreated? Well, I mean, self-worth.

not feeling like they deserve more, naivete, not understanding that that's actually not how you're supposed to be treated. You're supposed to be treated with kindness and respect always. Sure, you might have arguments and it gets a little bit heated, but there should always be a baseline of kindness and respect and politeness, honestly. Yeah.

not feeling like they deserve more, naivete, not understanding that that's actually not how you're supposed to be treated. You're supposed to be treated with kindness and respect always. Sure, you might have arguments and it gets a little bit heated, but there should always be a baseline of kindness and respect and politeness, honestly. Yeah.

So yeah, but people stay because also they saw maybe their parents in something unhealthy. They don't think that they, they don't see their worth enough to be treated well. And they keep seeing in the person, the potential of who they were. You know, this person was so amazing and now they're not. And so they're so attached to that.

So yeah, but people stay because also they saw maybe their parents in something unhealthy. They don't think that they, they don't see their worth enough to be treated well. And they keep seeing in the person, the potential of who they were. You know, this person was so amazing and now they're not. And so they're so attached to that.

And then they think, you know, real low self-esteem will have a person asking themselves, What did I do to bring this out in this person?

And then they think, you know, real low self-esteem will have a person asking themselves, What did I do to bring this out in this person?

Blaming themselves.

Blaming themselves.

Yeah.

Yeah.