Jillian Turecki

Instead, I want to fix him, train him, change him, wait for him to change, be the inspiration for his change and be a martyr in the relationship and a total codependent that does not focus at all on me, just only focuses on him or her dysfunction. And then I'm going to be incredibly unhappy. And guess what?

They're going to be incredibly unhappy, too, because no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who's trying to change them.

They're going to be incredibly unhappy, too, because no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who's trying to change them.

They're going to be incredibly unhappy, too, because no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who's trying to change them.

Mic drop. No one.

Mic drop. No one.

Mic drop. No one.

Yes. Or the inspiration for them fixing themselves, whatever it is. Yeah, we have to be the fixer. It's exhausting.

Yes. Or the inspiration for them fixing themselves, whatever it is. Yeah, we have to be the fixer. It's exhausting.

Yes. Or the inspiration for them fixing themselves, whatever it is. Yeah, we have to be the fixer. It's exhausting.

Absolutely. And then also what I would add to that is let them be. Let them be who they are. Accept them for who they are. And then maybe, not a guarantee, but maybe once you take the pressure off them, they will find their way. Maybe. But they are for sure not going to do whatever it is that you want them to do because you want them to do it.

Absolutely. And then also what I would add to that is let them be. Let them be who they are. Accept them for who they are. And then maybe, not a guarantee, but maybe once you take the pressure off them, they will find their way. Maybe. But they are for sure not going to do whatever it is that you want them to do because you want them to do it.

Absolutely. And then also what I would add to that is let them be. Let them be who they are. Accept them for who they are. And then maybe, not a guarantee, but maybe once you take the pressure off them, they will find their way. Maybe. But they are for sure not going to do whatever it is that you want them to do because you want them to do it.

Because most people, what happens is they can sense that. And what we do, whether we're conscious of it or not, we dig our heels into the ground because we're like, nope, I'm not going to be controlled. I'm an autonomous being. They can't tell me what to do. Even if it's not conscious.

Because most people, what happens is they can sense that. And what we do, whether we're conscious of it or not, we dig our heels into the ground because we're like, nope, I'm not going to be controlled. I'm an autonomous being. They can't tell me what to do. Even if it's not conscious.

Because most people, what happens is they can sense that. And what we do, whether we're conscious of it or not, we dig our heels into the ground because we're like, nope, I'm not going to be controlled. I'm an autonomous being. They can't tell me what to do. Even if it's not conscious.

Even if they know that what the person is wanting them to change about themselves is something that they really need. The fact that it's coming from them and not coming from themselves will make people very resistant. It happens. I see it all the time.

Even if they know that what the person is wanting them to change about themselves is something that they really need. The fact that it's coming from them and not coming from themselves will make people very resistant. It happens. I see it all the time.

Even if they know that what the person is wanting them to change about themselves is something that they really need. The fact that it's coming from them and not coming from themselves will make people very resistant. It happens. I see it all the time.

In the courting stage, well, I think a big one that you have to be sort of aware of is someone just saying, I love you right away. But then again, I know someone in a great marriage and he's like, I told her I loved her like a weekend. He's like, I'm a crazy red flag. So you just never know.