Jillian Turecki
speaker
1,450 appearances
11 recordings
9 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Jillian Turecki’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I don't know what your method is. Maybe you start fights. I don't know what it is. But you have this thing. I just pull back. You just pull back. Yeah.
And then your partner is like, what's wrong?
I have a few thoughts. I would imagine it's true that you really value adventure and novelty in life. Is that a big thing for you? Because you just said that you're going on a lot of adventures.
Okay, so, oh boy. So, yes, so you do, you're not someone who is playing it safe. You're not the person who lives your life playing it safe. I mean, you're a professional skier. You climbed Mount Everest four times. Ich meine, das ist nicht jemand, ja, aber das ist nicht, ja, okay, also das ist nicht jemand, der eine sichere Leben lebt. Und so suchst du für das Feuer.
Also oftmals, wenn wir jemanden, der Werte auf einem hohen Niveau, Erlebnisse, Novelität, vielleicht ein bisschen Risiko, vielleicht ein bisschen Gefahr haben. What we're also drawn to in relationships is a lot of that fire.
And sometimes, not always, but you can verify this for me, sometimes what that can lead to is maybe a lot of relationships or relationships that feel like a roller coaster or a lot of fighting, maybe a lot of physical passion, but then just a lot of fighting and ups and downs. Is that your experience?
But you said you're too picky. You're too picky, right? So here would be... This is my advice to you. I... I would never suggest that anyone pursue a relationship with someone with whom they don't feel any chemistry. But I think you should have a lot of dates where you are really sitting down with someone and really getting to know someone.
Because one of the things that's really hard to distinguish is the difference between lust and love. And when we feel a lot of that fire and that feeling, you know, you said you're very laid back. So you may be going for like the fiery type and you're leading with that feeling. And I don't want you to not have any chemistry, but I want you to make a deeper connection.
And sometimes that deep connection doesn't come on the first date. It just doesn't come. And if you're looking for the immediate fireworks and if you don't feel it, then you write someone off, then yes, I would say to you that your pickiness is not an indication that you're not ready, but it is an indication that this is one way in which you might be standing in your own way. So,
I would actually give women who you think are pleasant and nice more of a chance. And instead of being in the position of vetting them, they have to have the same lifestyle as me, I have to feel that fire, all these things. I want you instead to try to make a connection with another human being. Vielen Dank.
Yes, absolutely. Who accepts you for who you are and you accept her for who she is, but she doesn't have to be doing it with you. And I think that's where you maybe need to expand your mind a little bit.
No, I think you can be looking at it through the same... You hope to one day be in a relationship. So I always say prepare. So these are things to help you prepare. And also if you want to put yourself out there and date, there's some very important principles in the book that you need to be aware of so that you have better experiences in a relationship.
But I would imagine that it's a little scary, it's a little intimidating to put yourself out there and go on dates and then... Maybe you don't have a great date and then you think, well, you know, what's the point? Or, you know, I'm better, I'm happy alone. But could you maybe just think of it as instead of going on dates to find your next partner, can you make some friends with some men?
Okay. Do you have a favorite restaurant that you like to go to in the neighborhood? Yes. Okay. So take yourself to dinner or for lunch. Okay. You can sit at the bar and you can bring a book and start talking to people. Now, it doesn't have to be men. You could be sitting next to someone because you said making friends and talking to people comes naturally to you.
You can start talking to people and you never know, you could meet a woman whose cousin is Whose cousin's kid, you know, whatever, whose cousin is just recently divorced or you just never know what's going to happen. And I often say, like, if you're not going to do the apps, totally fine. Expand your circle. Start talking to people. Put yourself, get yourself off the couch.
It's not going to happen on your couch. And get yourself out there. And even if you go with just one friend and you sit at the bar and start talking to people and start making connections. And because then you never know. And that's a very organic way for it to happen. But it's also you being proactive.
And you say, I'm going to put myself out there more without it having to be this, you know, swiping and going on a date and having that sort of that tension and that rigidity around it. And so that's how I would start. Amen. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Go for it.
Have you hired a babysitter and just gone to a hotel for a night?
Es muss nicht übernachts sein. Es kann fünf Stunden dauern. Es kann fünf Stunden dauern, wo du Abendessen machst, aber nicht die Nacht. Und du gehst weg und du hast eine Nacht oder ein Abend, wo es nur die beiden von euch ist und du fühlst dich nicht nur wie Mutter und Vater. Das wird wunderbar funktionieren.
We've never thought of that.
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