Joanna 'JoJo' Levesque
speaker
172 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Joanna 'JoJo' Levesque’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Yes. Okay.
Oh, well, I talk about it a lot in more recent albums. Oh, OK. Yeah. Not just the book.
Yeah. For example, in like my Good to Know album or my Try Not to Think About It EP, there's a lot of talk of toxicity and about on again, off again relationships, about sex as a drug. I think about like an intro to my an intro on one of my projects. It's like, feed me love, sex, and drugs. Bring me more. It ain't enough. Tell me I'm pretty. I need that. I think I'm too sober. Where the weed at?
Pay me attention. Give me any and everything to forget all that I'm missing. And I'd rather be anywhere than here with me. But here I am stuck in reality, praying for, praying for, sanity.
Cause the mirror won't lie to me no more. And I can't hide from me no more.
I think that's where we ended it. And it was just – I just felt so uncomfortable with myself that I would do whatever I needed to do to feel good, whether it's drink to excess or flirt with somebody else when I'm in a relationship or cheat or make somebody feel fucked up about themselves. I would just – And then I would find a way to make it OK. Justify it. Justify it.
And as of like seven years ago, I was like.
I would say having a great therapist.
I was going to die. I was drinking and driving. And my mom's family was in a car crash when my mom was three years old. They were delivering Christmas presents to family friends in Massachusetts. And half my mom's family died by a drunk driver. So my mom was in the car. She survived. My granddad survived. And my uncle Brian survived. But her mom, her baby sister, and her other brother died.
Half the car died. Half the car lived. And it was all because of a drunk driver. And I think that when I realized that I was going down that path and going down the path of my parents too, of, um, I was like, I, I'm not bad enough to go to rehab.
Um, even though I'm engaging in this reckless behavior, but like I asked my manager at the time, I'm like, should I go to, you know, and they were like, no, I don't think it's that bad. I'm like,
Yeah. I was hoping somebody would see how sad I was or see how bad I was and tell me what to do. Right. But thankfully I did find an amazing therapist who I also talk about in the book, Janice. And she's like a grandmother to me now. And she was the maternal figure that I needed to actually really guide me and to –
Help me see things in a way and to pick me up where I needed it and to hold me to account where I needed it. I've always been almost so harsh on myself and so I'll take responsibility even when it's not mine.
Okay.
And I'll take – and I'm big on accountability. But – I think I was just in such a place of hurt, particularly because I was in a record deal with a label that was no longer functioning, so I couldn't put out music for a very long time. I felt like my career was dead on the vine, and I was angry, and people were telling me,
You should be the biggest star in the world and, you know, how did this happen and blah, blah, blah. So I'm feeling embarrassed and I'm feeling ashamed and I'm feeling like I don't want my family back in Boston to worry about me. And they're like, Joanna, you're smart. You should just go to school. And I'm like, I don't want to go to school.
Like, you know, I should go to college and study sociology like I was going to. I'm like, no, I already deferred. I just had a lot on my mind and I think I acted out in my relationships as a consequence of how afraid I was.
I think that – I mean there's a lot of talk about addiction might be in our cells. It might be something that we inherit. I don't know how you feel about that or –
Yeah. I'm just really sensitive to, to that. I think that When you grow up feeling that type of instability, it makes you a certain type of person.
Yeah. Flight, to a certain extent. I think I freeze up more than fight or flee at this point. I'll kind of freeze and then I'll need to like. sit with myself and, but my, my defenses definitely still come online.
Showing 41–60 of 172 · page 3 of 9
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