Joe Hudson

love came with some sort of way of being dominated.

It doesn't mean dominated like, but it was like somebody always on them, somebody, and so guilt tripping them, somebody who's like not letting them be themselves.

Maybe it's through guilt, maybe it's through physical punishment, but there's something like that going on.

and they are scared of being in a relationship, they're gonna lose themselves in the relationship.

They're gonna merge in the relationship and they're not gonna be able to be who they wanna be, say the things that they wanna say.

They're gonna be some bent version of themselves to stay in this relationship.

That's the fear.

75% chance that that's the fear that is actually underneath that person.

commitment phobic in love relationships.

So now backing up to get to your question.

If he's sitting there and he's like, I'm scared of being in a relationship, the vulnerable thing to do is to say,

I notice I really want to be with you.

I notice I really love you.

I notice I'm really scared of committing.

I notice that I am avoiding the intimacy that committing and then just say, why?

What makes me scared to commit?

which is weird because those relationships, and I've now helped hundreds of people with this thing, that's the conversation that's never really had.

This is why I'm scared because everybody's taking it so personally.

You don't love me.

You know, like it's two people.