Joe Hudson

And so you don't trust authority typically.

And so there's some authority issues and that your job is to make other people happy.

So if you think of all that, why on earth would you want to be in a relationship, right?

Because my job is going to make them happy.

I'm still going to have to take care of everything for myself, and I'm not going to be able to express my needs or wants.

So none of that shit's going to get met.

And now I just have somebody else that I have to take care of.

That's the self-reliant pattern that's on the other side of the needy pattern, typically.

And I think...

Like, that's a way to break down what needs to be felt for that person is the helplessness of, like, I actually can't do it all myself.

That's a huge thing to be felt.

And then to feel whatever needs to be felt when expressing a want, when expressing a need, when expressing hurt.

And when I watch people go from that self-reliant pattern to a pattern where they have tons of support and love in their life in such a short period of time by just saying on the regular basis, this is what I want.

This is where I hurt.

These are my needs.

And self-reliant people, they typically like needs.

I have water, food, and shelter.

It's like, yeah, but like, are you going to be happy without communication and sex and love?

And those are also needs to thrive.

Not the needs to survive, but the needs to thrive.