Joe Navarro

The faster we can synchronize, the faster we can harmonize. And so we are pre-programmed. So if your viewers are interested in that, they can look at the research that's been done on the lilt of crying babies.

The first thing is at a distance. If I saw you walking down the hallway and you say, hey, Joe, Steve, how are you? I'm mirroring you. This goes back to the work of Carl Rogers in the early 1960s. And he found that synchrony puts us in, sort of locks us in, into this binding, psychological binding of where you greet with your hand and arch your eyebrows. Hey, well, that sends powerful messages.

The first thing is at a distance. If I saw you walking down the hallway and you say, hey, Joe, Steve, how are you? I'm mirroring you. This goes back to the work of Carl Rogers in the early 1960s. And he found that synchrony puts us in, sort of locks us in, into this binding, psychological binding of where you greet with your hand and arch your eyebrows. Hey, well, that sends powerful messages.

So if I do it, can you imagine if you greeted me like this and I went, yeah, how you doing? Yeah. It's like we're totally out of harmony. We're totally out of synchrony. So we begin with the nonverbals. We begin, for instance, with the clothing. If you go to a meeting, we would probably dress the same way or approximate each other.

So if I do it, can you imagine if you greeted me like this and I went, yeah, how you doing? Yeah. It's like we're totally out of harmony. We're totally out of synchrony. So we begin with the nonverbals. We begin, for instance, with the clothing. If you go to a meeting, we would probably dress the same way or approximate each other.

We would probably have this look at us right now with our hand gestures. We're literally mirroring each other's hand gestures to the point where our thumbs are precisely the same way. Why? Because we're comfortable with each other. We would lean in if we are in good synchrony. Our speech pattern would synchronize.

We would probably have this look at us right now with our hand gestures. We're literally mirroring each other's hand gestures to the point where our thumbs are precisely the same way. Why? Because we're comfortable with each other. We would lean in if we are in good synchrony. Our speech pattern would synchronize.

And to the point where you can actually work with individuals to calm them down or to see things your way or to appreciate, let's say in negotiations, to begin to be more receptive. People are more receptive if they can mirror your behaviors.

And to the point where you can actually work with individuals to calm them down or to see things your way or to appreciate, let's say in negotiations, to begin to be more receptive. People are more receptive if they can mirror your behaviors.

In general, we cannot be mimicking each other like it's a game. It becomes ridiculous. But there's no way we can negotiate if you're screaming and I'm stoic. Yeah. It just doesn't happen. For instance, you and I probably are doing a pretty good job of just mirroring each other in the conversation.

In general, we cannot be mimicking each other like it's a game. It becomes ridiculous. But there's no way we can negotiate if you're screaming and I'm stoic. Yeah. It just doesn't happen. For instance, you and I probably are doing a pretty good job of just mirroring each other in the conversation.

We are more likely to be successful, have more face time, and achieve more if we can talk to each other this way. than if all of a sudden I decide to sit sideways, kick my feet up, and lean on my elbow. That gesture alone, even though it's a comfort display, doesn't put us in synchrony.

We are more likely to be successful, have more face time, and achieve more if we can talk to each other this way. than if all of a sudden I decide to sit sideways, kick my feet up, and lean on my elbow. That gesture alone, even though it's a comfort display, doesn't put us in synchrony.

And everything that I have ever found was, even when I was talking to terrorists, even when talking to terrorists who absolutely hated me, hated a lot of other things, If I could just get them grounded to the point where we are talking basically the same way and using the same words. If they say, my family, don't say wife and kids. use family, don't use terms of art.

And everything that I have ever found was, even when I was talking to terrorists, even when talking to terrorists who absolutely hated me, hated a lot of other things, If I could just get them grounded to the point where we are talking basically the same way and using the same words. If they say, my family, don't say wife and kids. use family, don't use terms of art.

If they say, well, what's the price? Don't come back and say, well, the points on this, that's not what they asked. That's a great way to demonstrate that you're not listening. And the other thing I always emphasize is that for years, people said, well, try to reduce everything that's emotional. so that it doesn't interfere, that's not how we evolved. That is absolutely not how we evolved.

If they say, well, what's the price? Don't come back and say, well, the points on this, that's not what they asked. That's a great way to demonstrate that you're not listening. And the other thing I always emphasize is that for years, people said, well, try to reduce everything that's emotional. so that it doesn't interfere, that's not how we evolved. That is absolutely not how we evolved.

We evolved to deal with emotions because emotions keep us alive. When our amygdala senses a threat, it is there to deal with that. And anything negative rises to prominence. That's one of the first things I teach. If it's really negative, it rises to prominence. We assess for it first. We deal with that first. And often in business, what we see is somebody had a hard time finding your location.

We evolved to deal with emotions because emotions keep us alive. When our amygdala senses a threat, it is there to deal with that. And anything negative rises to prominence. That's one of the first things I teach. If it's really negative, it rises to prominence. We assess for it first. We deal with that first. And often in business, what we see is somebody had a hard time finding your location.

They had a hard time parking. Then they had to go to your receptionist who was on the phone and took about seven minutes to even say good morning. And when they did, they did it with no alacrity. Then they have to go through security. Then they have to take the elevator that's crowded and then finally get to your office.