Joe Starkey

Justin Brazeau, who was playing for the Providence, not Boston Bruins a couple years ago, would have his career, 28 years old, by the way, would have his career high in goals by the end of December and would have had it sooner if he didn't get hurt.

Big Elmer would become a part of the stretch run.

Somebody named Parker Wotherspoon would be the ideal partner for Eric Carlson.

Eleven Penguins would have their career best seasons.

These Penguins, a team of a couple of established players, a couple of aging stars, a bunch of cast offs and an 18 year old would become the highest scoring team of the Sidney Crosby era.

Evgeny Malkin, who you'll remember.

Kyle Dubas refrained from offering a contract because Dubas was thinking what the rest of us were thinking.

This looks like an aging player near the end and giving him two years now would be insane.

That Evgeny Malkin would be rejuvenated somehow near the age of 40 and turn in maybe his best season in the last six, five or six years.

I didn't think that.

I'll admit to it, but I'm not sorry.

To the point where now another contract just seems like a foregone conclusion.

Did you have that Igor Chinnikov, an underachieving winger with the Columbus Blue Jackets, would come here and become practically a star?

On pace for like 40 goals over a full season?

No, me neither.

How about an 18-year-old rookie named Ben Kendall that he would be an immediate high-impact player?

Yeah, me neither.

Them neither.

I don't think.

I don't think.